Living In Hell
by Miss Peg
Summary: When one lie after another is needed to cover up the truth, how can Naomi face Emily? What if Emily is too distracted to notice what is going on in her girlfriends life? When bad things happen, can life ever be the same again?
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note****: Hello all, it's been quite a while and I've missed this place. I'm not home yet, but I will hopefully be able to update this story before I actually get home. I arrive home on the 10th September though, so not far now.**

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**Living In Hell  
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The room was small. It was dark and drab; the wallpaper was in dire need of replacement and the curtains looked as though they had suffered fire damage. There was a putrid smell of tobacco and vomit that made her throat contract and a sickly taste overpowered the mint gum that was losing flavour. She didn't want to stay here, she didn't want to sleep in the bed that filled most of the room. She didn't like the look of the sheets they'd covered it with, it had stains of multiple colours. She didn't dare touch it for fear of catching something.

"We can't stay here, please tell me we won't," Naomi begged, her bright blue eyes now sullen and fearful.

"It's all we can afford," Gina informed her, information that made Naomi squeal with frustration and anger.

She didn't want this. She didn't need it. She was starting back at college in a few short days and she needed privacy to study, privacy to be with her girlfriend. Not to be living in a tiny B&B room, sharing a dodgy bed with her mother. She dropped her duffel bag on the floor and pushed the bathroom door open with so much energy that it thudded loudly against the bath. She rushed into the tiny room and slammed the door shut behind her, attempting to lock the door, but failing miserably. After several attempts, she pushed the door back open and ran towards the front door of the room.

"Don't go, I thought we could go for a walk and get some dinner together," Gina suggested, a note of sadness in her voice.

But Naomi was already halfway down the stairs that connected their third floor bedroom to the street. She couldn't handle it. She was pissed off. Pissed off and angry. Her mother was supposed to protect her from harm, she was meant to put a roof over her head and give her everything she needed. Instead, they were living out of suitcases in a dingy, run down B&B. This wasn't her idea of a life, it was a nightmare. She found herself calming slightly as she ran down the street away from her nightmare. But then her mobile phone buzzed from her pocket and on closer inspection she realised that Emily was calling her. That's all she needed. She wiped the tears that had slipped down her cheeks and pressed the answer button, staying silent until the girl on the other end spoke.

"Finally, I've been trying to call you all day, I thought you were going to be home?!" she snapped, irritation in her voice.

"I," Naomi began, the words catching in her throat.

What could she say? That she'd been kicked out of her house? That she was as good as homeless? The words were there on the tip of her tongue, but they wouldn't form. The words made her feel physically sick as she attempted to say them. After a moment of silence, she said the first thing to come to mind.

"I'm not at home at the moment, mum and I had to move out because we're having some work done to the house, we're staying in a hotel in Bristol,"

There was a silence. Naomi's throat grew dry as she waited for confirmation that her lie had been accepted by the one person she had promised never to lie to. Emily didn't answer straight away and Naomi knew that Emily wasn't happy.

"I didn't know anything about the work, why didn't you tell me?"

Why didn't you tell me? The sentence repeated itself to Naomi, an echo that only she could hear. Why didn't she tell Emily? Why didn't she just tell Emily the truth, instead of making up a stupid lie that she couldn't take back. She hated herself for doing it, but she knew that a lie was usually needed to cover up another lie.

"I didn't know anything about it either, you know mum, she's an airhead when she wants to be, are you mad? If you are we can talk about it,"

The other end of the phone was silent, Emily didn't respond and Naomi began to shake with fear that her lie had been discovered.

"Next time," Emily began, finally, "Call me later, okay?"

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**Author Note****: PLEASE review, I would LOVE to know what you think of this. I will also probably need some motivation to continue this story as I've got a busy week ahead, so as soon as the week is over I can get started, but I need your help to motivate me to get back to it!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys, so this is chapter two. I'm not sure if I'm entirely happy with it. But I have limited time. This story was originally going to be a Naomi story with Emily thrown in for fun. But it's now a Naomily story with Katie thrown in for fun. I hope you enjoy. Thanks so much to all 17 people who reviewed, I appreciate them all! Plus, to any new people out there – I accept anonymous reviews, so if you don't have an account but want to review, go right ahead!**

ultraviolet55 – I don't really see this story as AU, it's starting on the next year so it could in theory happen, lol. Just thought I'd let you know that.**  
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The conversation the night before had ended strangely. Not only had Naomi kept a pretty significant piece of information from Emily, but their conversation had ended badly. She wasn't mad anymore, she wasn't even mad to begin with. She was simply annoyed. They were supposed to be a couple; which to Emily meant sharing their lives and keeping no secrets; apart from surprises of course. The whole summer had been relaxing, a time for them to share more of themselves with each other, getting to know each other as girlfriends instead of just friends. The start of the school year both excited and pissed Emily off. She was ready to return to school and start working on coursework and revision. But at the same time she knew she'd miss the afternoons of lounging around in Naomi's bedroom; naked, clothed, together, apart, talking, silently. Every moment had been special and significant in the formation of their relationship. There would be weekends and holidays, but it was the first day of the year and a Monday; those moments she longed for seemed so far away that it made Emily want to scream.

"Come on!" Katie groaned, pulling her bag onto her shoulder and opening the front door before Emily could even slide her shoes on or finish her bowl of cereal.

"What is wrong with you?" Emily joked, a grin on her face.  
"I've got a headache and I'm worn out, can we just go?" Katie responded, frustration in her voice.  
"Oh, well, okay, let's go," Emily muttered, quickly following her sister out of the door.

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The corridor of the sixth form college was busy. Emily watched the crowd for the blond hair of her girlfriend, the first thing she did almost every time she walked into a room she knew Naomi would be in. She couldn't see her, so she followed Katie towards their lockers and piled in the text books she'd purchased the week before. Before she had a chance to close her locker, two hands reached around her shoulders and a mouth collided with hers with a passion that took only seconds for her to respond to.

"Good morning," Naomi greeted, their lips pulling apart long enough for her to speak.  
"It is," Emily grinned, wrapping her arms around Naomi's waist and planting a small peck on her girlfriend's lips.  
"Not this early, please," Katie groaned from the background.

Emily wanted to get annoyed at Katie's obvious mood, but when she glanced over, she could see how tired her sister looked. She pulled away from Naomi's side for a moment and moved towards Katie.

"Are you okay?"  
"Will you stop asking that?" Katie snapped, "I just have a fucking headache."

A slight nod of Emily's head was enough Katie needed to turn on the spot and walk away, mumbling something about public displays of affection and the new yeargroup starting college. Emily watched Katie walk away, the usual spring in her sister's step missing.

"Is she okay?" Naomi checked; Emily nodded her head.  
"She's been like this for days, she went out every night for the past week; I imagine she's a little worse for wear,"

The two girls shared a moment of laughter, before their arms were wrapped around each other in another embrace. Emily let herself relax entirely, the conversation the night before completely forgotten as she enjoyed Naomi's company and comfort.

"Emily," Naomi whispered, her face filled with concern. Emily could tell there was something going on in Naomi's head, something she was about to tell her.  
"Where did Katie go?" Emily asked, interrupting Naomi.  
Naomi looked around and quickly replied, "I don't know, I need to tell you..."

Naomi's eyes looked worried, there was something in the tone of her voice that made Emily think she needed to listen to her girlfriend. But her mind was torn. Something just as strong was telling her she had to find Katie.

"I need to go," she muttered, walking away from Naomi, "Sorry,"

It wasn't something Naomi said, but it was the way she looked at Emily that made her almost doubt her decision to find her sister. Naomi wasn't happy and Emily sensed there was something important she was about to share. But finding Katie was all she could think about. She walked down the corridor, Naomi at her heal. She pushed open the door to her form room and found Katie sat on a chair, her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, her instincts telling her there was something more than a hangover as she crouched beside Katie.  
Katie's voice quavered, tears filling her eyes, "I don't know."  
"Do you feel sick?" Emily requested, holding her sister's shoulders.  
"It doesn't matter," Katie replied, slipping out of Emily's grasp and walking past her, her hands wiping the tears from her face.

Emily stood and turned to watch her sister walk towards the door. She took a deep breath. Katie's recent mood wasn't that uncommon, but she didn't normally cry. There was something about Katie's mood that made Emily think something more was going on. She shared a puzzled glance with Naomi, before the blond walked over to stand beside her girlfriend.

"Emily, I need to," Naomi began.

But she was quickly interrupted again as the two girl's watched Katie stumble, her feet disappearing under her as she walked out of the door and landed on the cold, hard floor like a rag doll.

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**AN****: Did you enjoy that? Do you want any more? Well drop me a line and tell me so! Got any thoughts? Comments? Ideas? Feel free to leave a review and tell me. Think my writing sucks and got an idea how to improve it? Then tell me! Plus, I LOVE reviews and I will appreciate  
them all.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN****: Thanks so much for the reviews…it's interesting everyone should suspect pregnancy. I wonder if this chapter will help answer any questions about that. This story is really kicking itself off, the next few chapters should get more exciting, if not angsty, hopefully. It might take me a while to get the next chapter up – well up to ¾ days depending on what happens. I fly home from New York on Wednesday, get home Thursday afternoon. Enjoy…**

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Time stood still for what felt like forever. Emily wanted to move, to see if Katie was okay, but she was scared; petrified that Katie wasn't okay. She felt a shoulder brush past hers and blond hair appeared in front of her. Naomi was doing what she should have, she knelt to the floor and tried to rouse Katie. Emily just stood, silently watching the scene unfold like a statue in a park.

"Go get some help," Naomi told her, the words entered her brain but she wasn't sure if it processed effectively.

"I," she mumbled, words escaping her conscious.

"GO!" Naomi snapped, concern and worry in her voice.

Emily didn't know how it happened, but her feet were moving and the corridor walls were blurring as she sprinted down towards the nurse's office. Her heart was pumping faster than it had ever beat before and she wondered if she too would keel over. But the nurses office was right in front of her and the door was open and the nurse was stood staring at her, asking her questions. But all she could do was cry.

"Do you want to come inside and talk?" the woman asked.

The stranger that Emily had never actually encountered before was leading her into the office, when she should have been going out of it. It was a surreal moment; it felt fake, like a dream, but real at the same time.

"No, my sister," she managed to cry out, her hand pointing towards the door. The nurse nodded and was pushing her back out of the door with a bag in her hand.

The walk back down the corridor towards Katie and Naomi wasn't easy, when they turned the corner to where Katie had been, Emily thought her heart was going to explode with the pain of seeing her sisters still unconscious. But when they reached the two girls, Katie was sat up against the wall and Emily's heart began beating slower, relief setting in.

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Naomi sat on the floor, her knees curled underneath her body as she rubbed Katie's back. The moment Emily had gone to get someone, Katie began to rouse from whatever it was she'd been under. When Naomi saw Emily's face appear round the corner, her lips curled into a smile; relieved for Emily that her sister was going to be okay. The nurse insisted that they take Katie to the office, where she could examine her, much to Katie's protests they made their way to the office.

"What's wrong with her?" Emily snapped, after only a couple of minutes in the nurse's office.

"I don't know," the nurse, who's name was Kira, informed her.

"But people don't just faint, you must know," Emily continued, her voice getting more and more strained.

Kira stayed patient and explained the situation, "Sometimes it takes more than looking someone over to know."

"Come on," Naomi whispered, pulling on Emily's shoulder in an attempt to take her outside, "Let's give them some room."

"I don't want to give them some room," Emily cried out, tears welling up in her eyes.

"We're going to be another fifteen minutes at least, go take a break," Kira told Emily, resting a hand on her shoulder in a comforting way.

The second they were outside of the room, Emily marched away from Naomi as fast as her feet could carry her. Naomi took a deep breath and followed her girlfriend towards the exit of the college.

"Ems, wait up."

"Why? I wanted to stay, I wanted to know that she's going to be okay," Emily sobbed, getting worked up.

Taking a few steps forward, Naomi rested her hands on Emily's shoulders and held her still, "It's okay to be worried, but the nurse can't check Katie over without space."

"But I wanted to be there," Emily cried, letting Naomi pull her into her arms as she sobbed onto her shoulder.

"I know."

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They returned to the nurse's office after half an hour. When they reached the door they found two paramedics in green overalls wheeling Katie out of the room in a wheelchair. Emily's heart began to race again, her voice growing strained as she spoke.

"What's going on?"

"It's okay Emily," Kira informed her, "They're just taking her to hospital for a few tests, that's all."

"Oh, can I go?"

Kira nodded, "Yes, I've called your mum, she'll meet you at the hospital."

Emily's voice grew stronger as she asked the one question she feared the answer to, "What's wrong with her?"

"It's probably just a virus, but I'm worried about your sister's temperature and the pain she's suffering,"

"Pain? What pain?" Emily asked, looking to Katie for an answer.

"I'm just sore all over," Katie mumbled, her face paler than before.

"Let's just get you to the hospital and find out, alright?" the nurse suggested, looking at Emily in such a way that made her step aside and let the paramedics past.

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The hospital corridor was empty, except for the few small chairs dotted around. Emily sat beside her mother, waiting patiently for Katie to be done with whatever number of tests the doctors had requested. She looked down at her hands as she twiddled her thumbs, impatiently focusing on something that gave little relief. She wished Naomi could be by her side, but the nurse had requested she go back to class. After nearly two hours of waiting, Emily's phone began ringing, she quickly snapped it open and answered the call.

"Naomi?"

"How is she?"

Emily's heart beat faster, a different kind of fast than earlier, a nice speed that made her thankful to have Naomi in her life. She had longed to hear her girlfriends voice.

"She's getting tests, they think it's a virus or maybe meningitis."

"Meningitis? God, I hope it's not that," Naomi muttered, her voice laced with worry.

"I know," Emily whispered, before remembering the conversation they were about to have earlier in the day, "Was there something you wanted to tell me about earlier?"

"Oh, no," Naomi sighed, "It doesn't matter, just focus on Katie."

"Are you sure?"

Naomi replied, "Yes, I'm sure."

Jenna Fitch stood up, making Emily spin around and quickly say goodbye before slipping her mobile phone into her pocket. She glanced at the doctor stood in front of them. He was tall and wore glasses, he looked professional and very clever, which made Emily feel a little more comfortable.

"What is it? Do you know what's wrong?" Emily's mum asked, her voice shaky.

"We're still not entirely sure, we've ruled out meningitis," the doctor began, "But we are concerned about the swelling of your daughter's lymph nodes and the complaint that she has pain throughout her body."

"What does that mean? What do you think it is?" Jenna requested.

"I don't want to say too much until we know for sure, we're doing some more tests," the doctor's eyes were deep and filled with something that worried Emily, "I suggest that you go home for a few hours, get together a few things for Katie for when the tests are over, we'll probably keep her in overnight."

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**AN****: So…did you like it? I can pretty much tell you 100% that Katie is NOT pregnant, if you didn't already figure it out. The next chapter might not reveal the truth, maybe the one after it, we'll see. I want some fluff in there. To sum up this story – angsty-fluff. Did you enjoy? THEN REVIEW!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks soo much for everyone who reviewed, I did notice less reviews this chapter, so feel free to backtrack a review the last one, lol. This story is going to get darker, it has been decided. I also have a request for information from cloudindasky; does anyone know of a fanfiction from ages ago, it's about Naomi and Emily when they're older and together but it begins with a fire in Freddie's shed caused by JJ. Anyone know? Drop me a line. Enjoy!**

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There was a chilling frost between Naomi and Gina when she entered the hotel room that evening. They hadn't spoken since they moved in, or more Naomi hadn't replied every time Gina had tried to start a conversation. The poky bedroom gave Naomi a headache. It was only their second night in the room and already Naomi hated it more than anything else in the world. She spent an hour stood up watching fuzzy television until her mum came home with fresh, clean covers for their bed. Naomi didn't even thank her, instead she waited until the covers had been put on the bed, before laying back and relaxing in the middle of it, leaving little room for her mother.

"Do you have to be like that?" Gina asked, perching uncomfortably on the corner of the freshly made bed.

Naomi merely glanced at Gina, a cold hard stare that made her retreat slightly.

"I'm doing the best I can,"

"The best you can?" Naomi laughed, "You're joking right? If you were doing the best you can, we wouldn't be in a poxy hotel that probably has rats."

"Please, Naomi," Gina whispered, her voice growing quieter. "This isn't easy for me."

"Yeah, well it's not easy for me either, having a mother like you."

Gina's eyes grew wide, "Don't say that."

The tension between them was growing by the minute. Naomi had moved into a seated position, her eyes glaring at Gina's with anger and frustration. Naomi watched as Gina's eyes filled with water. She knew she was being difficult, she was being horrible. But she couldn't help it. She was angry and she wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"I'm going to bed," Naomi mumbled, stopping herself from saying anything worse, by slipping into the clean bedspread and turning out the bedside lamp.

"Okay, night love."

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There was only another few feet to the door, Emily walked slowly. She hated this, feeling like something big was going on. Katie was only in hospital, it didn't mean the end of the world, it didn't even mean she was that ill. But Emily felt vulnerable, like something had already happened and she merely didn't know. As she walked towards the door, she decided to keep walking, planning to do a lap of the hospital floor before entering the room.

"Is that Emily?" came a voice from the doorway, it was Katie.

"Oh, hey," Emily muttered, walking through the door as though she'd not realised it was the door to Katie's room.

"What are you doing here? It's really early," Katie asked, rubbing her arms where a piece of material covered what Emily assumed was a blood test mark.

"I had to see you, see that you're alright," Emily mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do I look alright?"

Emily let her teeth tug at her lip, a nervousness setting in. She was stood in front of her twin sister, the person she'd spent almost every waking hour with for almost eighteen years and she was nervous.

"You look pale," she responded, looking away.

"I'm like a ghost, pity the pale look isn't in right now," Katie chuckled, making Emily smile slightly.

It was difficult to let herself laugh, when she felt such a strong sense of foreboding. But Emily gave in and shared a moment with Katie. She felt a lump forming in her throat, but she swallowed it quickly. Within seconds the door opened and they were quickly interrupted by blond hair and a bunch of flowers.

"Wow, you look sick," Naomi muttered, stood in the doorway.

"Thanks," Katie rolled her eyes.

"You two aren't going to fight are you? Katie's not up to any arguments."

"Chillax," Naomi smiled, "I'm just visiting, I brought some flowers."

"If you get the nurse she'll put them in water," Katie whispered.

"I'll do that later, Emily, you gonna come to college today?"

It hadn't occurred to Emily that she would have to return to college. Katie was, according to the doctors, doing okay. There was no need for her to stay with her, there was no need for her to miss a second day of college over Katie's ill health. It just wasn't practical, especially not on the second day. But she was reluctant. Emily looked from Naomi towards Katie.

"Go, I know you want to," Katie smiled, "Pick up anything I've missed."

"Okay," Emily replied, before she even had time to think about it, she was following Naomi out of the hospital.

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The day was mostly uneventful. A handful of people asked after Katie, most people just wanted to know where she was. After a while Emily decided to tell a few people the full story in the hope that word would get around. Once the final bell of the day rang, Emily met Naomi by the front doors. They quickly fell into step beside each other.

"How's your day been?"

"Horrible, I'm sick of people asking if Katie is okay," Emily complained.

"It's over now," Naomi sighed, linking hands with her girlfriend, "Are you going back to the hospital or can we hang out?"

"Hang out?" Emily giggled, letting her imagination run wild.

Naomi smiled, "Yeah, you and me, hanging."

Emily lent forwards and pushed her lips against Naomi's, "It has been a few days since we last, hung out."

"Come on," Naomi mumbled, pulling Emily down the street away from the college.

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The cool air felt good against Emily's warm skin. She knew she was flushed, she guessed it was probably obvious to some what she'd just been doing. But she didn't care. She squeezed Naomi's hand between their bodies, letting their shoulders brush against each other accidentally in an act that Emily knew would make Naomi want her to stay.

"So, back to the hospital?" Naomi whispered, looking from Emily to the building behind them.

"I promised I'd come back, besides, another five minutes with you and I'd be needing hospital treatment,"

Naomi laughed, her chuckle making Emily ache to stay with her girlfriend, until an equally significant ache pulled her away. She had to go back to her sister.

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" Naomi checked.

"No, it's okay, you go home, I know you have that massive politics assignment," Emily muttered, "I can tell you've already written half of it in your head."

Naomi's lips curled into a smile.

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Tomorrow probably," Naomi grinned, "That assignments going to keep me busy."

"Tomorrow..."

"Love you," Naomi smiled, letting her lips brush Emily's as they pulled apart.

"Love you too."

The hospital smelled like hospitals usually did. It was a smell that never escaped Emily and one that she wished she didn't have to smell again for a while. She floated through the corridors, her afternoon with the girl she loved helping to perk up her mood. She pushed down on the handle to Katie's room and stopped instantly. She glanced around at her family; James was sat in the corner looking sternly at a very silent computer game, her dad was wiping his face and sniffling and her mother and sister were sat opposite each other, their faces stained with tears. Emily felt her heart jump; she'd never seen her dad upset before and she rarely saw her mum's strong exterior broken down. She felt a lump reach her throat before any of them could even greet her.

"What's wrong?" Emily managed to whisper, her voice delicate, "What's happened?"

Emily looked at Katie, who looked to their mother; Jenna who was staring at Katie, waiting for a response. When Katie shook her head, Emily turned back to Jenna, hoping for an answer.

"Emily darling, come sit down,"

She felt her feet moving, but weights dragged her down. That sense of foreboding she'd felt was growing stronger with each step. As she perched on the end of Katie's bed, she felt like she was going to cry.

"Your sister has," Jenna began, the words growing quieter as they pierced her eardrums, "Katie has leukemia."

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**AN: Please review, it makes it worth writing…besides, now the truth is revealed, I'm looking for thoughts, opinions, anything at all. Just hit me with it, I'm ready to know what you think of the direction of this story.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN****: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and a special thanks to all who replied with the name of the author/story I mentioned. I'd imagine you're all correct because you all gave the same answer. I'm really enjoying writing this story, I can feel it getting darker and darker as I think about the coming chapters, lots of angst. I am about an hour away from getting my bus to JFK airport, then I'll be on my flight and then I'll be getting a 6 hour bus ride home. So it'll be a couple of days before I can post anymore, simply because I won't have any internet access. However, I will have pen and paper, which if the mood takes me, will be filled with at least one chapter before I get home. It might be Friday until I post a chapter, it depends, I've been away for so long that there's a lot to catch up with at home. Your patience is appreciated. Thanks again. You guys make it worth writing.**

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Walking through the tiny lobby of the hotel made Naomi feel uncomfortable. Two very tall, very built men were hovering in the doorway to the stairs. She watched them for a few seconds as she walked towards them. An exchange of money and a packet didn't pass her attention. She knew the hotel was bad, but she didn't except people to be buying drugs in the lobby. She waited a moment, then asked them to let her past. When she was safely in the room, she screamed loudly, before noticing her mum piling clothes into her suitcase.

"What are you doing?" Naomi asked, sitting down beside her mother's open suitcase.

Gina looked up at Naomi, "Packing."

Naomi frowned, "What for?"

"We've run out of money, I can't afford to pay for another night," Gina admitted, her face growing red with embarrassment.

"What?" Naomi asked, her lips pressed tightly together, confused.

"We have to leave first thing in the morning."

"I have money mum, I have a couple of hundred in my savings," Naomi told her, hopeful.

Gina's eyes grew deep and tears filled them, Naomi could sense regret and guilt in her mother's actions. She took a deep breath, trying not to cry too.

"No you don't," Gina whispered, her voice barely audible as she sat down beside her daughter.

Naomi's knees felt week, "What do you mean?"

"I borrowed it last week to pay off the mortgage, there's nothing left."

It was confusing. Naomi wanted to get angry, she wanted to slap her mum for stealing her money and putting her in such a position. But the look on Gina's face changed her feelings. She'd got mad, she's blamed her mother, but she'd never noticed that this was affecting her too. Probably more.

"How did this happen?" Naomi sighed, staring at Gina with equally sad eyes, "How did we get into this position?"

"I tried to make it right," Gina sobbed, "I didn't want us to live like this."

"Who would?" Naomi muttered, sarcastically.

"I just wanted to put a roof over your head and do right by you Naomi."

"Mum," Naomi cried, reaching out, but Gina wasn't listening.

"Now you hate me," she stood up, her face stained with tears, "I've ruined your life and now you hate me."

Before Naomi could say anything, she'd moved to her mother's side and she was holding her; sobbing hard against Gina's shoulder as the two of them cried over their situation. After a few minutes, Naomi pulled herself together.

"Mum, you need to tell me how we got into this mess, I need to know so what we can fix it."

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It was a dark day. The room was growing darker as the clouds turned almost black outside. Katie had always laughed at the stupidity of weather matching moods in novels and movies, but as she stared out at the darkened sky, she felt somehow comforted. She'd cried enough tears, she'd watched her family cry enough tears. Except Emily. Her family had been forced to leave the hospital once visiting hours were over and Katie was thankful for the space. It was difficult for them, she could see that. But it was even harder for her. The doctor hadn't told them much about treatment because he'd wanted them to process the information for a few hours first. Katie waited in anticipation to find out what would happen next. But somehow she didn't care. She was tired and weary and part of her wished she could give up the fight before it had even begun.

"How are we doing?" the doctor asked, a woman doctor who hadn't been there before.

"Who are you?" Katie asked, her voice crackling with vulnerability.

"I'm Doctor Colan, your parents requested that a female doctor look after your treatment," the woman smiled a sympathetic smile that made Katie want to vomit.

"What happens now?" she asked.

"You will have chemotherapy, as soon as we can book you in,"

Chemotherapy. The death of beauty. That's what she'd always thought of it as. She'd read stories about people who'd had it, how they lost their hair, their eyelashes, everything. How they became sick, picked up infections easily. The word felt like a death sentence, even though she knew it was her only hope. She gave a slight nod and the doctor continued.

"We need to do some more tests first, to establish if the disease has spread, we need to know exactly what we're dealing with."

We? Katie wanted to laugh. She was dealing with it. Just her. Doctor Colan didn't have leukemia, she didn't have to go through chemotherapy, she didn't have to have people treading on eggshells over the disease. She was only a doctor, what would she know?

"I understand this is difficult for you," she muttered, that sympathetic smile returning.

Katie bit her lip, she knew that tears had fallen down her cheeks without her knowledge. She could tell that her shield was breaking down with every word the doctor said.

"You're young, you're strong, I have every faith that you can beat this, don't think too much about the side effects."

Pulling the bed covers around her body, Katie muttered, "I want some rest."

She didn't want to hear the doctor's voice anymore, she didn't even want to tell her she didn't want to know. She just wanted to block it out as best as she could. She was sick, really sick. She didn't want to think about tomorrow, she just wanted to cry.

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**AN****: If you enjoyed this chapter, or even if you hated it...please leave some feedback. Got any questions? Hot any suggestions? Feel free to share them all. Basically, I love reviews, so please give me lots to read when I get home!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN****: Thanks a lot for the reviews guys, you know how much your comments and thoughts mean to me. I'm really enjoying writing again after all those months of not, I think I'm officially back!!!**

_**staplesncementmixers**_** - I feel I need to respond to your review here, whilst I think Katie can be vain and care a lot about her appearance, to be fair to her, I have heard many people who have thought about their hair being lost and who have struggled with that changed when going through chemotherapy. Particularly for women who's hair is often a major part of their appearance, the thought of having to spend time bald must be pretty daunting.**

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The assembly was unexpected, which pissed Naomi off. She hated assemblies. They had them once, maybe twice a year and they never seemed to serve any purpose. The year group filed into the hall, a scurrying of people like mice trying to find the best seats. Most people aimed for the back, so that they could mess around. Naomi rolled her eyes at a group of boys acting more like rampant teenagers than young adults. She searched the crowds for Emily, an unsuccessful attempt. They usually met at their lockers in the morning, but Emily hadn't been there. Naomi glanced at her mobile phone, she had no new messages and no missed calls.

"Listen up year 13," Doug greeted them. "Welcome to your final year of study, or your second for those of you who failed your exams,"

Naomi wanted to scream. The assembly was no different to any other they'd had. She wished she could have left, she needed to call Emily.

"This year will determine the rest of your lives, some say it's not that important, but if you fail your final year, you will fail your life,"

Scoffing, Naomi closed her eyes. She thought about Emily, about the last time they'd been together. She felt a longing in the pit of her stomach that only seemed to appear when Emily wasn't around. She missed her. In the few hours they'd been apart she really missed her. Naomi opened her eyes and realised that Doug was no longer speaking and he was staring at the group with a seriousness he didn't usually have.

"Just this morning I was informed that a student of this year group has had some terrible news and so will not be coming back to Roundview this year. Katie Fitch,"

Hearing Katie's name made Naomi pay attention, she frowned, doing her best to hear Doug talking over the top of a few idiotic boys who were whispering behind her.

"Has been struck down in her prime with the dreaded C, or so I was informed this morning by her mother,"

Naomi's heart beat faster, a mixture of emotions hitting her hard. She felt sad, shocked and shamefully angry. She knew she should give Emily a break, her twin sister was ill, very ill and all Naomi could think about was the fact Emily hadn't told her. It was selfish, it was unfair but she couldn't stop feeling that way.

As soon as the assembly was over, the year group filed out in much the same way they filed in; like a bunch of hungry tigers running towards their prey. Half the group seemed to have missed the news about Katie, or at least didn't case enough to be physically shocked. The other half remained calm, but discussed how sad it was, or shocking.

"When did they find out?" a voice came up behind Naomi, she turned around to find JJ and Effy staring at her. She frowned, confused for a moment before realising that they, like Naomi, had expected her to be the first to find out off Emily. She wanted to swear, to tell them to fuck off, to tell them Emily had kept the truth from her. Instead she shrugged and walked away.

*

Before Naomi had chance to think about what she was doing, Emily's front door was being opened and she came face to face with her girlfriend. She flashed back over the past few days, over the lies she'd told and the betrayal that Emily knew nothing about. She felt angrier than she knew she should. Emily's face lit up in an unexpected way, like she'd simply not had time to think about Naomi with everything that had happened. But that didn't stop Naomi doing something she knew she was going to regret.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she snapped.

Emily took a step back, a look of utter confusion and mild regret in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me that Katie had cancer? I had to hear it from fucking Doug,"

There was a long, drawn out silence. Naomi could feel the situation blowing up, she knew she was making things worse for Emily. But she couldn't seem to control her emotions. She was angry, she wasn't even angry at Emily, she was just angry.

"I, I'm sorry," Emily whispered, her voice low and broken.

"I cant believe you kept this from me, I'm supposed to be your girlfriend,"

"Naomi," Emily sighed, sounding tired.

But Naomi wouldn't listen, "Do you even trust me?"

"Of course I do," Emily muttered.

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

Emily looked tired, Naomi noted, she should have stopped, but her mouth had taken over

"Do I mean anything to you or was I just a passing phase?"

"It's been a really difficult couple of days," Emily sighed.

For the first time, Naomi stopped talking and finally looked at Emily. Her hair was unkempt, her eyes looked dull and lacked the light they usually possessed. If she hadn't seen Emily in a while, she might not have completely recognised the girl she was in love with. Love. She was supposed to be there to love and support her, not bite her head off for a crime she herself had committed. Her throat grew dry, an apology on her tongue, waiting to come out. Until her phone rang and she rushed to answer it.

"Mum?"

"Naomi love, I couldn't find anywhere to stay tonight, I'm going to sleep in the car, where are you?"

"I'm at Emily's," she whispered, avoiding Emily's gaze as she spoke.

"Good, I'll call you in the morning,"

In the morning? She wasn't staying at Emily's. Naomi tried to tell her mum that, but the woman on the other end muttered something about running out of money, before the line went dead. Naomi turned around and looked to Emily, who stared at her incredulously. There was a silence that made Naomi regret every word she'd said to her girlfriend.

"I am so sorry," Naomi muttered, knowing her plea would do little to repair the damage already done.

"Me too," Emily sighed, closing the door before Naomi could even react.

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**AN****: Thanks for reading, you guys make it worth writing...so please keep reviewing and I'll keep writing and we can both make each other happy! :-D**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN****: I had already written half of this, so I could resist posting again. Now that I am back with my beloved mobile phone, I can write on the move and so will probably get through this story a lot quicker at the moment. I hope you enjoy the direction this story is taking...thanks for any reviews so far for the last chapter and in advance for anymore that may be written.**

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The days were getting colder; Naomi could feel the onset of an early winter brushing against her face as she walked through the residential streets of Bristol. She longed to be back at the Fitch house, to start the whole conversation with Emily again. She wished she'd told Emily everything instead of pushing her away further. She wanted to go home, to her yellow house, where her mum invited strangers to stay and random, naked men walked around. That had to be better than this, she found herself wondering. She wanted to call her mother, to spend an uncomfortable night in the car. But her mum's contract had been cancelled when they'd lost the house. Naomi walked around for a while, hoping that movement would keep her warm. But after nearly two hours her toes were still cold and her nose was bright red from the chilling breeze. She thought about her options; she thought about who she could call on, who she could stay with. But on closer inspection of her so called friends, Naomi realised she wasn't that close to any of them. She thought of the group; of the shame of telling them everything and how quickly the information would spread through college and straight to Emily.

*

Reaching into her pockets Naomi pulled out a crumpled five pound note and a couple of coins. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get into the all night bar in the city. It was a Thursday night, the night when most of her friends visited a quieter club on the outskirts of the city centre. She knew the bar would be busy, but at least she wouldn't have to spend the night bumping into her friends and she wouldn't have to spend it alone either.

"I'll have a water please," Naomi asked the bartender as she entered the newly built structure with only a pound left to spend.

"Just a water?" a guy walking up behind her asked.

"Yeah," Naomi sighed, paying little attention to the male stood beside her.

"Well I can't really buy you one of those, can I?"

Naomi raised an eyebrow and looked the handsome guy up and down. She recognised him remotely from college, he had only just started and was little more than sixteen or seventeen years old. She shrugged her shoulders, frowning.

"You want to buy me a drink?"

"Sure do, babe," he grinned, a triumphant look on his face.

Babe. She hated that word, especially when a half drunk, hormonal teenager said it.

"I'll get a lager and lime," Naomi asked the bartender, who took their drinks orders.

The guy towered over her as he introduced himself. She learnt his name was Samuel and then she stopped listening. She paid little attention as he told her a story that made him laugh hysterically in a geeky, teenage way. She nodded and reacted enough to keep his interest, before following him to a group of equally young first year college students. She sat down warily, hoping they didn't recognise her from the few days they'd been at Roundview.

"What did you say your name was?" Samuel asked, his friends giving him victorious looks that made Naomi want to slap them all.

"Nicole," Naomi stated, the name slipping out as though lying was second nature.

She had little interest in Samuel or his friends, but she saw an opportunity and she took it. Free drinks off a group of rampant teenagers. It was an option worth taking, for a while at least.

*

The bedroom light was on, the bulb shining brightly across the room. Emily lay on her bed, her head resting against the soft surface of her pillow. The house was almost silent, except for the faint sobs of her mother crying in her bedroom. A painful atmosphere had filled the house, one that made Emily scared to do her normal activities, like eat, watch television or shower. No one was happy. No one was sad. They were merely surviving in a way that worried Emily. Were they ever going to be the same again? It had been barely twenty four hours since they'd found out, barely one whole day. They still had months ahead of them, weeks of Katie's treatment and knowing that cancer was in their lives in a very real way. None of them wanted to talk, or share how they were feeling. They all went about their half-lives, barely living as the hours drew by.

"Emily?" a faint voice muttered.

James entered the room with red eyes and a worried expression. Emily took a deep breath, feeling a lump in her throat at the sight of her brother's tears.

"What?" she asked, sitting up and watching him take a seat on her bed.

"Is Katie going to die?"

It was a question she'd asked herself several times already, a question she honestly had no answer for. But with her brother sat in front of her, his prepubescent self so painfully unaware of what it all really meant, she found the need to act like she did have an answer.

"No," Emily assured him, letting him lean into her as she wrapped her arms around him.

He was a pain in the arse and he invaded the twins privacy far too often. But he was still her little brother. She held him closely, letting him cry. She wondered if her vacant tears would finally fall, but they didn't even make an appearance. Instead she focused on James, her baby brother. The precious bundle of weird smelling skin that her parents brought home from the hospital one day. Katie had hated having to share their parents with anyone else, but Emily liked the idea of having another sibling. She always thought that it got lonely when one of them wasn't there and a third sibling would make that easier. But with foresight and a situation where one sibling was not there, they both seemed to feel just as lost. James was another sibling, but he couldn't make it feel any better that Katie was still in hospital, or that she had cancer.

"I don't want her to have cancer," James cried, clinging to her skin, like he did as a toddler.

When James was two he went through a phase where Emily was his favourite person. Emily flashed back to a day in the middle of the summer when Katie stopped talking to her because she paid more attention to James than she did to Katie. It was typical Katie. But Emily couldn't help wonder if that moment had been different, would Katie still have leukaemia?

Eventually James fell asleep beside her. She didn't mind too much. What she did mind was the silence, the empty space in their house that made everything feel so much more terrible. Then she thought of Naomi and the situation that had unfolded at the doorway. She didn't understand why Naomi blew up at her, nor did she have any energy left to feel angry or frustrated at Naomi's words. She was confused and she wished she knew more about why Naomi had got so mad. But it didn't matter much to her, nothing did since Katie was diagnosed.

*

The group bore Naomi pretty quickly. They reminded her of her first year at Roundview where their only real worries were who was sleeping with who and what drugs they'd have that night. Things were different now and she liked to think that she had matured over the past few months. She had gained several free drinks from the group and was happily tipsy, a feeling she was thankful for as it drowned out the sorrows she didn't want to remember.

"We're going to go," Samuel announced, "Got college tomorrow, don't want to overdo it."

Naomi felt like she was going to cry. She didn't want them to leave. She didn't care if she ever saw them again after that night, but until the night was over she didn't want to be alone.

"Wanna come back to mine?" Samuel asked, a look of excitement on his face that made Naomi glance down to find equal excitement. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I don't think so, it's been a nice night, but you're not really what I'm looking for,"

"Come on babes, you haven't taken your eyes off me all night," he grinned, leaning in to kiss her. She felt his lips brush hers lightly and she pulled back.

"No, I don't like you in that way,"

"Course you do, why else would you hang around me all night?"

"Because I'm fucking homeless and my girlfriend is pissed at me," she announced, wondering how it was so easy telling a perfect stranger her worries.

Samuels lips curled into a smile, "Yeah, right, now give us a blow job."

Naomi closed her eyes. She couldn't believe how slimy he had become. She turned to walk away when he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her round to kiss her again. She pushed him away and screamed for him to leave her alone. In one quick movement, someone came out of nowhere and thumped him clean on the nose. Naomi gasped as she watched the teenager fall to the floor, sobering up quickly as blood spilled from his nose and his friends pulled him out of the bar.

"Fuckin' hell," Naomi cried out, looking up to find Cook staring down at her.

"I was gonna say the same thing, that guy had a metal face or something, my hands killing me,"

"What are you doing here Cook?" she asked, her tone less thankful than she was hoping for.

"Saving you from first years, obviously."

Naomi wanted to laugh, but instead tears fell down her cheeks and she felt her body jerk with sobs. She felt Cooks arms around her, something that didn't happen often, unless sex was going to be involved. She felt somewhat safe in his arms, she felt like he was more of a gentleman than she'd ever given him credit for.

"Tell Uncle Cookie all about it," he grinned, "And then Ill take you home."

"I don't have anywhere to go," she told him, avoiding his eyes.

"Then you'll just have to come stay with Cookie until you do."

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**AN****: Thanks for reading, I am currently unemployed, having finished university...I have plenty of time on my hands, so keep reviewing and more will come.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN****: Thanks for all your comments, etc. I love reviews, if you didn't already know that. I hope you're all enjoying the direction this story is taking...it seems to have a life of it's own as things keep happening or coming to me as I write it and I think "I hadn't planned for that to happen...but...". Enjoy!**

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Every single pair of eyes hit her. At first she thought something must have been wrong with how she was dressed, or her hair. But then she remembered what Naomi had said about Doug. Emily made her way through the corridors of Roundview, holding her head down as people muttered and watched her go. She didn't want to be there, least of all with half the college staring at her. She didn't want to be back, she didn't even know why she'd agreed to return. It was still only a few days since Katie's diagnosis. Her dad decided he didn't want her missing anything more and with Katie coming home that evening, it was time the "family got back to normal". Normal? Emily had wanted to laugh at her dad's choice of words. They weren't normal, they were never going to be normal again.

"I'm sorry about Katie," a girl in her history class informed her as she walked by.

Sorry. Why was anyone sorry? She was ill, it wasn't their fault. Several more familiar and some unfamiliar faces said the same sort of thing. It made Emily want to shout at them, to tell them they had nothing to apologise for so why bother? Their messages didn't make her feel better, their only purpose was to make the person saying it feel like they were being supportive.

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"You gonna tell me why you had to stay at mine?" Cook asked for the fifth time that morning.

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Does it matter?"

"I put you up for the night, I let you sleep in my bed so you didn't get cold, the least you can do is tell me why I did it."

"I lost my key," she snapped, "Happy now?"

"Lost your key?" Cook repeated, a look of disbelief in his eyes as he shook his head.

"Now stop following me and leave me the fuck alone," Naomi muttered.

"Nice to see you're actually thankful, eh Naomi?"

"I'm just glad you didn't try something,"

"I can be a perfect gentleman when I want to be, not that I wouldn't have minded a willy waggle with a hot lesbian."

"You fucking tosser," she snapped.

"Oi, I let you stay, didn't I? How about some gratitude?"

She was sick and tired of Cook's moaning and groaning. All night he'd complained about the space in the bed that he had offered her, he'd complained that she wriggled too much, he complained that her clothes were covering the floor. She was sick of hearing it. He'd offered her a place to stay, she hadn't asked, she hadn't wanted to stay there. She took a deep breath and tried to feel more grateful for the warm place to sleep. Cook eventually muttered a goodbye, perfectly timed as Naomi came face to face with Emily.

"Emily?" Naomi muttered, walking over in an attempt to fix her mistakes.

The deep brown eyes that belonged to her girlfriend saw her, they registered her presence. But Emily diverted her path around Naomi and continued to walk down the corridor. Naomi took a deep breath, trying to stop the lump from forming in her throat. Her phone began to ring and Naomi greeted her mother on the other end.

"I found a friend we can stay with," Gina informed Naomi, an announcement that made her smile.

At last things were looking up and they were beginning to get back on their feet. Naomi took down the address from Gina and thanked her mum. She didn't know Tony Lester, she didn't even know how her mum knew him, but she was so thankful that he had a spare room.

*

Naomi was on her mind. They'd bumped into each other briefly earlier in the day and without even thinking, Emily had blanked her. She was annoyed, more annoyed than she realised, that Naomi had been so mad. She had no right being mad for something that Emily thought was none of her business. Katie's illness was new for all of them, just because she hadn't told her straight away, didn't mean she wasn't going to confide in her about it. As she walked towards the exit of the college, she could see Naomi stood outside smoking a cigarette. Her stomach twisted in knots, her body still reacting to the sight of the girl she loved. Even if she was angry, she still cared about Naomi, she still loved her.

"Emily!" the blonde reacted, noticing her walking towards her.

Emily frowned, she might have still loved her, but she wasn't ready to talk, "I'm not in the mood to hear excuses," she responded, walking past Naomi before anything more could be said.

*

There was a tension in the house that seemed to surround her before she'd even reached the stairs. Katie was home. She couldn't see her, or her belongings, but she could sense that things had changed. She thought of seeing her sister. She knew she was the same Katie, her treatment hadn't properly begun and her hair was still intact. But something in Emily's head was distorting her memories; removing Katie's hair and making her look ill. When she opened her bedroom door she found Katie sat up in bed, James and their mother hovering around her.

"Would you just give me some peace?" Katie asked, the usual snappy tone replaced with a sincere request.

"Okay," Jenna muttered, looking crestfallen at the prospect of not being by her daughters side.

Once James and Jenna had left the room, Emily stepped inside, warily. She tried to smile at her sister, who's face was more cheerful than she'd expected. She had been to see Katie at the hospital only the day before and she'd seemed broken and confused. It was like looking at a completely different person.

"You gonna tell me what's been going on at college then?" Katie asked, tapping a space on her bed for Emily to sit on.

"Nothing much," she replied, having paid little attention to the majority of the day.

Katie nodded, as though processing her answer, "Anyone going out tonight?"

"Effy said something about a club, but I said I couldn't go."

"Why not?"

Emily found herself laughing. It felt wrong to go out and have fun, when Katie was so ill. She couldn't believe her selfish sister was actually wanting her to go out, without her. She thought carefully about what it would mean to go to a club; loud music, dancing, drinking, perhaps some drugs. It was everything her parents would have hated had they'd known, it was everything Katie used to love, it was everything someone needed to hide away from their problems. But she didn't feel right doing it without Katie.

"Can you get me a glass of water? Mum said I can't leave my bed and I've got to take my medication."

The water was a simple request, but as Emily watched her sister taking pills, she felt strangely weak. She'd heard the doctor explain that Katie was ill and what would happen, she'd read about leukaemia multiple times. But she had barely seen what it all meant; what the treatment would look like, how Katie would react, what medication she would have to take. She thought about the pills that Katie swallowed one by one and it was difficult not to think about the Es that Effy had promised would be there at the club waiting for whoever turned up. It was a tempting offer and one that looked more and more promising.

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**AN****: Thanks for reading, I hope you did enjoy...and I hope that if you did like or even if you disliked it, that you'll leave a message, a comment, a review, it's a nice way to repay a writer for the work they've done.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN****: Thanks to all the few people who reviewed...where did everyone go? Is this story not to your liking? Or are some people having trouble with FFnet? I know at least one person is. I hope you enjoy this chapter, the darkness is still not even fully started yet...I hope you like.**

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She was slowly losing control. Her mind was turning to mush and her body felt alive; the mixture of alcohol and MDMA in her system was sending her mind into oblivion. She had been dancing for hours, letting her body move to the music that was surrounding her. JJ, Freddie and Effy had left long ago and Cook was nowhere to be seen. She didn't care that she was alone, she felt at ease with herself. Katie was only a distant thought on her mind, which suited her. She let a man dance beside her, sliding his hands over her hips as they swayed to the music together. She felt powerful, knowing that he knew little about her sexuality. After a while Emily took a rest and seated herself where the group had been sat until they'd all left.

"Alright hot lesbian number one," a sleazy voice muttered and an arm reached around her shoulders.

Emily looked into Cook's eyes and rolled her own, "You got one thing straight; lesbian."

He laughed, she didn't care what or who he was laughing at. She didn't even care that his hand was resting closer to her right breast than she would normally have liked. It felt good to be in a drugged up stupor, where her worries were non-existent and the hands of Cook weren't a big deal.

"There you are, I thought you'd left," a voice muttered.

It was familiar, all too familiar. Emily felt her heart beating faster and she wondered if it was the drugs, or Naomi's presence that were effecting it. She stared into her girlfriend's deep blue eyes, sharing a look of confusion with Naomi.

"Oh, hi," Naomi greeted her, biting her lip in the way she usually did. It made Emily's body react.

"I, I need to," she stuttered, standing up and staring into Naomi's eyes again.

"Don't go," Naomi muttered, taking her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

"I was going to suggest we go talk," Emily informed her, letting her fingers clasp Naomi's tighter.

The blonde nodded, a smile sliding across her face. Emily tried to remember why they weren't talking, but her mind wouldn't work well enough. She turned to Cook who was grinning at them.

"See you later,"

"Aww, you not gonna let me come watch?" he chuckled, holding his hands up in defeat as the two girls glared at him.

The wall outside the back of the club felt cold against Emily's back. She didn't want to lean against it. She didn't really want to talk, but Naomi had started apologising, muttering away about something that Emily didn't really pay attention to. She licked her lips and stepped in front of Naomi, she smiled at her girlfriend and silenced her with a kiss.

"But I need to apologise," Naomi muttered, pulling away.

"Apology accepted," Emily grinned, kissing her again.

Their bodies were so close that Emily could smell Naomi's skin; the body spray she used, the natural scent that covered her from head to toe. It set her body on fire and Emily pushed herself against Naomi, running her hands up and down the curves of her body. Naomi tried to divert her attention to talking, but quickly got into the swing of actions. They were kissing passionately, they were fumbling about in the darkened street, not caring about anything but each other.

*

She was ready. It surprised her how quickly her mind had got used to the idea of cancer. At first she'd been angry, frustrated and mostly sad. But then she thought about her life. She wasn't even eighteen. She'd lived a small fraction of her days, she'd spent a lot of those days being angry at Emily or jealous of the people in their life. She was sick of being the girl that nobody took seriously. She didn't want to be the bitch, or the one people feel sorry for. She wanted to feel powerful and strong. She wanted to live. She was about to enter the biggest fight of her life, she didn't want to be the girl who couldn't handle it. Cancer was scary, it was petrifying, but it was something she felt ready to beat. She thought about the kids in school playgrounds, too scared of the older bullies because they were bigger and stronger than them. If only they felt stronger, maybe they could at least get a good punch in first, even if they were defeated in the end.

"Is that Simone? It's Katie Fitch," Katie asked when a voice answered her call.

"Oh Katie, I heard about,"

She didn't want to hear sympathies from people she barely knew, "I just want my hair cutting, tomorrow morning," Katie interrupted, stopping the hairdresser in her tracks.

"I can probably make a house call, if you'd prefer?" the woman informed her, sympathy in her voice.

Katie tried to push away an urge to be bitchy, "No, I want to come to the salon,"

"How is ten am?"

"Perfect," Katie replied, a smile creeping across her face.

*

Two hands held tightly to each other. It wasn't a perfect reunion, but Naomi was glad they'd set the ball in motion. She couldn't help smile.

"Can we go to yours?" Emily suggested.

"Oh," Naomi responded, her thoughts processing quickly. She didn't know what to say, whether to tell Emily the truth or not.

"My mum doesn't want any house guests 'til the work is done," she lied, the more stories she made up, the easier it became.

"But I'm not just a houseguest," Emily sighed, resting a hand on Naomi's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she admitted, though she knew Emily would never know just how much.

"We need to sit down and talk, properly," Emily told her, letting her saddened eyes show through.

"We will, how about we go sit by the river?" Naomi suggested, "Or we could wait until neither of us has had a drink,"

Emily brought their hands up between them, letting the connection grow between them, "I think waiting is a good idea, but not too long, okay?"

"Okay," Naomi smiled, letting her hand slide around Emily's shoulders so that they could walk together, barely inches apart.

*

It was late; she knew the morning was mostly over, but the lack of sleep the night before and the start of the weekend meant it didn't matter. Emily rolled over in her bed and looked to Katie's empty one. She'd almost got used to the empty bed, so much so that it took Emily a moment to realise that Katie should have been there. She climbed out of bed and made her way downstairs where she was accosted by her worried looking mother.

"Where is your sister?" she gasped, her face pale with worry.

Emily rolled her eyes, wondering what Katie would think of Jenna's protectiveness, "She probably went for a walk,"

"A walk?" Jenna asked, "She has cancer, not a cold, she could catch an infection and end up really sick,"

"That's not until she starts chemo that we need to worry about that," Emily reminded her mother.

"How can you be so blasé about it?"

"You can't keep Katie on a lead mum," Emily snapped, "She's nearly eighteen,"

"She has cancer," Jenna interrupted.

"And she's old enough to understand that, she's not stupid, well sometimes she is, but she's not going to do anything to make herself worse,"

"How would you know? Do you have a crystal ball? Can you see your sister safe and well?"

"No, but I know Katie, she will be back."

As if it was planned, the front door opened and Katie walked in. Emily looked at her sister, her mouth open in shock. Jenna gasped as they both stared at Katie and her new hairstyle.

"What in Gods name have you done to yourself young lady?" Jenna asked, touching Katie's shortened locks.

"I got a haircut," Katie muttered, confused by her families reactions.

Emily could feel her thoughts process quickly. Katie had always loved long hair. When Emily had opted for a bob when they turned ten, Katie had turned up her nose in disgust. It was difficult to understand how Katie could go out and have her hair chopped off to barely four inches long.

"A haircut?" Jenna gasped, "You're practically bald."

Katie laughed, like their mother had told the best joke ever, "I'm not bald yet, but it won't be long," she replied.

"Don't you dare joke about such a thing," Jenna snapped, staring at Katie.

"It's my hair, I'll joke about whatever I want," Katie muttered, "You like it, don't you Ems?"

It was an argument that Emily had been happy sitting on the sidelines for, but when Katie included her in the discussion, she found it very difficult to take her sister's side. She liked Katie's hair, it suited her in a strange, unfamiliar way. But she wasn't willing to let Katie know that.

"Mum's right, how could you get your hair cut so short? Are you insane?"

"I am going to be losing all of my hair soon, I'd rather have most of it off when that happens,"

"That doesn't make any sense," Emily snapped.

"Exactly, you loved your hair," Jenna replied.

"So?" Katie sighed, "I don't want to take a shower one day and have inches and inches of hair fall down the plug hole, I want to be ready for this change in my life."

"But your beautiful hair," Jenna muttered, unable to give up the discussion.

"It's gone, you can either like it, or take your opinions someplace else."

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**AN****: Thank you for reading and I hope some of you will return to reviewing or reading, or both...or hopefully it's just FFnet not working for some of you? Though that would suck royally.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN****: Thanks to those who reviewed...it appears that FFnet may be having a problem at the moment. I started to experience the issues others have told me about. So some people may not be reading as I'm writing? If you're having problems, I'm sorry that it's not working properly for you, it's such a shame!**

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The sun was shining, deceiving Emily and Naomi as they sat in the college's "memorial garden". Naomi pulled her jacket tightly around her body, while Emily rubbed her hands together.

"This isn't working," Emily muttered, her teeth chattering as she spoke.

"What?" Naomi replied, staring at Emily, "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to get so mad at you, it wasn't fair. I don't want this to be it for us,"

Emily's lips curled up at the edges and Naomi wanted to shout at her for laughing in her face, "I was talking about the weather," Emily sighed, "It's too cold."

"Oh," Naomi whispered, her face growing red.

"But you're right, you shouldn't have spoken to me the way you did, it wasn't fair."

"I'm sorry," Naomi repeated, wishing she could tell her just how much she was sorry for.

"Why did you do it? I'd just found out about Katie and you acted like I'd been keeping it a secret for months,"

Naomi stared at her knees, it was a neutral place where she didn't have to feel guilty looking at, "I don't know,"

"You don't know?" Emily asked, confused, "How can you not know why you got so angry?"

"I just don't alright," Naomi snapped, regretting her tone instantly.

"We're not going to get anywhere if you keep speaking to me like that Naomi, we're supposed to be in a relationship, how can it be a healthy one if you don't even know why you're angry with me,"

"I'm not angry with you," Naomi assured her.

"Maybe not anymore, but you were,"

Naomi took a deep breath, "I wasn't angry with you then,"

The two girls looked at each other, their eyes locked with a mixture of confusion and sadness. Neither of them wanted to be stuck in a conversation they struggled to resolve.

"Then what were you because the way you spoke to me, I half expected you to rip my head off,"

"I was just angry," Naomi muttered quietly.

"Angry at what?" Emily asked, "People don't just get angry for no reason."

"Well I did," Naomi lied, feeling guilty for making things worse.

"I don't believe you, you're fucking lying to me,"

Lying. The word, coming from Emily's lips, no matter how true, flicked a switch inside of Naomi.

"I'm not lying to you, don't you fucking say I'm lying, so I don't want to tell you why I'm fucking angry, the whole world doesn't revolve around Emily, I don't have to tell you everything."

"Then what do you expect to happen between us Naomi?" Emily asked, remaining calm, "You either want to be in a relationship, or you don't."

"I didn't go through everything last year just for things to end like this," Naomi snapped.

"Then talk to me," Emily sighed, "Lets fix this."

"There's nothing to fix, I'm sorry for the way I behaved, can we just get back to how things were?"

Emily rolled her eyes, they weren't getting anywhere, "And it's that simple? You pretend there's nothing going on and we forget this whole thing happened?"

Naomi closed her eyes. Tears were building and she wished they would go away. She hated how she was treating Emily, she hated how angry she was all of the time. She didn't want to make a mess of the only good thing in her life. It was like someone had pressed the self destruct button on her life and she had no way of reversing it. Emily's hand touched her shoulder as she leaned over. It was a sympathetic act that Naomi had always loved about Emily, even when they were in the middle of an argument.

"There's obviously something going on that you won't talk to me about," Emily sighed, "I can't make you tell me, but I want you to remember that you can."

Naomi nodded, wiping away the few tears that had slid down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Naomi muttered, "We shouldn't be talking about this, we should be talking about you...about Katie,"

"I talk enough about Katie at home, I just want being with you to be about enjoying myself,"

*

The house was okay. It was clean enough and didn't smell like someone's bowels had emptied all over the bathroom. Considering it was a temporary place for Naomi and Gina to stay, Naomi decided that it wasn't so bad. She'd barely met Gina's friend, who worked nights and was always asleep whenever Naomi was home. She didn't mind. It felt weird living in someone else's house, knowing they had no immediate plans to leave.

"What do you want for dinner?" Gina asked.

"Do we even have any food?" Naomi asked, looking at her mother.

"Tony said we could borrow some of his, until we have a little money,"

"When is that going to be?" Naomi asked, not caring that her voice sounded accusational.

"Next week," Gina told her, "I signed on at the job centre, we just have to wait for the first payment."

"What about a job?" Naomi asked.

"I've looked, but there's very little out there,"

"What about the four admin jobs I found in the paper?"

"Admin, do you really think that's all I'm suited to?" Gina asked, sounding a bit upset.

Naomi was losing her patience, "We have no house, no money and you want to start picking and choosing between jobs that you think are above or beneath you?"

"I don't think its quite like that," Gina muttered, her voice shaking.

"I've applied for a job at McDonalds, Pizza Hut and Burger King; three places I never even eat in to help out, the least you can do is apply for anything you're capable of."

"You don't understand how hard this is for me love," Gina muttered.

"I understand all that I need to," Naomi snapped, walking out of the room.

She knew her mother had a selfish streak, but she didn't expect it to be so bad. She lay down on the bed in the room she shared with Gina and took several deep breaths. She was angry at her mum. They needed money, they needed to find a way back onto their feet. It was Gina's job to be the parent and do everything she could to fix their financial problems. But the more Naomi thought about it, the more she was acting like the parent and her mother like the helpless child.

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**AN****: Thanks to everyone who has read this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to review, particularly since reviews are down, I miss getting reviews, I really do love them. Plus, if you read someone's work, it's only fair to drop them a message of how you're liking the story!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN****: I know I'm spitting these chapters out...but I'm on a roll and I've missed writing stories soo much, plus I'm now currently unemployed after the summer and uni are over, so I have too much time on my hands. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I do love to read everyone's comments. Enjoy the next chapter...**

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The exit of the hospital was in front of them. The door to leave was something Katie loved to see. It symbolised her freedom, at least for a short while. Every time a treatment ended, she'd walk through those doors, as though it was a walk of celebration. Emily's arm linked hers and her sister was talking to her about a television show she'd missed because of her treatment. Katie laughed at Emily's retelling.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked as she helped Katie into the taxi.

Katie nodded, "I'm tired, but I feel okay."

They usually went through a similar process, the same old questions being asked. She wished her family would stop questioning how she was feeling and just let her tell them if she wasn't okay. She used to hide her thoughts and especially if she was feeling unwell from them, but she'd learnt that it was easy just to tell them.

"Feel free to sleep on the ride home," Emily assured her, sliding into the back seat beside her. She nodded her head and leant herself against Emily, closing her eyes to conserve as much energy as she could.

The moment they set foot in the house, Jenna and Rob fussed over her. They were parents being parents and for that she couldn't fault them, but she wished for some time alone. Eventually they let her go upstairs to her room, where she sat on her bed, staring at the carpet for longer than she wanted. Finding an ounce of energy she slipping the headscarf off her hairless head and slid under her covers.

"Do you have to take that thing off?" Emily asked from the doorway.

Katie sighed, sitting up taking too much energy out of her, "I don't like wearing it inside the house."

They exchanged a look. Katie had seen it multiple times since she'd lost her hair. Emily looked petrified, intimidated by the changes that were occurring to Katie's body. Sometimes she thought she should question her twin about them, but most of the time she was too tired to actually follow through. She felt her eyes closing and she slid back under the covers.

"You're warn out," Emily muttered, stating the obvious and sitting beside her with a hand against her forehead, "And you're a little warm, do you want me to call the doctor?"

"I'm fine," Katie smiled, "Just tired, that lot took it out of me."

"Okay," Emily replied, going silent.

Emily's eyes never lost the intense look that had lived in them for the past three weeks, she'd changed in subtle ways that Katie wished she could describe. She wanted to ask Emily why she wasn't the same person anymore, but she already knew the answer. She would talk to her about it, she would ask her to talk to her about how she felt. Eventually. When she finally had the energy.

*

The phone felt cold against her ear. Emily waited impatiently for Naomi to answer, she tapped her foot against the soft carpet and sighed heavily with each passing, unanswered ring. She couldn't stay there any longer. She couldn't sit in her room and watch her sister go through the aftermath of her treatment. The first time she'd had it, Emily had stayed with her for hours. She'd watched her go from tired, to emotional, to physically drained and sick. It made her wonder how the chemotherapy was helping Katie when it only made her look and feel worse.

"Naomi, finally, I'll see you at the club at eight," she spoke, taking for granted that Naomi would be there.

"I can't," came her response, the words Emily wasn't expecting to hear.

"But you have to," Emily sighed, a lump growing in her throat.

Naomi was silent for a moment, before she finally answered, "I have to stay home, mum's not feeling very well."

"But you have to come out," Emily repeated, struggling to keep the lump down. Eventually she gave up and muttered a goodbye to Naomi, who seemed happy to get off the phone.

They'd been to the club multiple times, it was a regular haunt, which made it easier for Emily to arrive an hour before anyone else was due there. She watched a small group dancing and another sat in a corner talking amongst themselves. She felt alone, but she knew that wasn't because she knew few people there. On sight of Effy she almost pounced at the door, clinging onto the brunettes arm as she walked through the club.

"What do you have tonight?"

"What do you mean?" Effy asked.

"What do you think I mean?" Emily asked, "What stuff have you brought?"

"Oh, stuff," Effy smiled a classic Effy-smile.

Emily was growing impatient, "Well?"

The brunette laughed and walked off towards the bathroom, barely glancing at Emily as she walked past. Emily smiled and followed her out of the main room. When she reached the toilets, Effy was in a cubicle, which frustrated Emily to no end.

"Hurry up Eff," Emily gasped, tapping her foot against the hardwood floor.

"Hold your horses," Effy replied, exiting the cubicle and washing her hands, "I didn't realise you were such a naughty little madam."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Guess you never really knew me."

"Guess I didn't," Effy smiled, handing her a small packet of wraps, "Whizz."

"What will it do?"

"It's like Red Bull, but better."

*

"You want to make up your mind?" Naomi asked, staring incredulously at the petite woman stood on the other side of the till.

"I'm, I'm not sure," the black haired woman stuttered, "I think I want a large, but I can never drink that much cola, so maybe just a medium."

"Medium Big Mac meal with a Coke," Naomi sighed, inputting the information on her till, "Five twenty four."

"Oh," the woman frowned, "I thought it was Four ninety?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Prices went up last week."

When the woman had finally paid and took her food to a table near the entrance, Naomi turned off her till and walked into the back.

"Stupid, fucking, lazy, fat customers," she screamed.

"Now, now Naomi," a tall, balding man stopped her, "We are here to serve the customer."

"How can I serve the customer when the customer is a complete moron?"

"Your attitude is anything but suitable for this company," he sighed.

"Jesus, Colin, we're in a McDonalds, not a bloody corner shop competing with a supermarket, people will eat this stuff until it kills them."

"Do you remember what I said the day you got hired?" Colin asked.

"No," she admitted, pulling the apron from around her waist.

"You get a two week trial and then we decide whether to keep you on as a full member of staff."

"So?"

"So, you're not really suited to this job," he admitted, hoping she'd fill in the blanks.

Naomi's eyes grew wide as she realised what he was suggesting. She let out a loud laugh, that quickly grew quieter as she noticed the serious expression on her boss's face.

"You're not serious? This is a fast food restaurant, anyone can do this job."

"Anyone with good people skills," he informed her.

"You're firing me?"

"You were never a full employee, I'm simply not taking you on past your trial."

Anger was building up inside of her. She couldn't believe how much anger she had. The more things that happened, the worse she became. Things had begun to settle down, what with them living with her mother's friend and Naomi finding a part time job. But now she could feel herself losing control.

"You can screw you fucking job," she screamed, walking out before someone could throw her out.

The house was dark when Naomi arrived home; it was almost ten fifteen. She jumped when she saw her mum sat on a chair, in the pitch black room. Frowning, Naomi turned the light on and sat on the arm of the chair.

"Why are you sat in the dark?"

"What?" Gina asked, looking up and smiling when she realised it was Naomi, "Good morning love."

"It's the night mum," Naomi sighed, "How long have you been sat like that?"

"A while."

Something wasn't right and Naomi knew it instantly. Her mother had been a bit down since they'd lost the house, but she rarely spent the whole day staring into space. Naomi took a deep breath and took her mum's hand.

"What is wrong?"

"Oh nothing, nothing love," Gina smiled.

"I don't believe you, have you even left the house this week?"

"It's nothing to worry about," she muttered, "I went to the jobcentre on Tuesday."

Her rage had not had chance to settle. Naomi was angry at her mother. She worked hard at her job, even if she did get angry at the customers from time to time. So they weren't keeping her on, she knew she could find something else. But her mum's reluctance to find a job was driving her mad.

"How do you expect us to afford our own place again if you can't get off your backside and find a bloody job?"

"It's okay love, it'll all work out," Gina smiled, "When we find somewhere else to stay when Tony's girlfriend moves in, we'll be fine."

"Somewhere else to stay?" Naomi asked, her mother's words stopping her in her tracks, "What do you mean?"

"Marie is moving in, we have to move out, but it's okay I'll sort something out."

It was a shock. It was more than a shock. They'd finally found somewhere stable, where they could work on getting themselves back on their feet instead of paying out all their money on hotel rooms. Naomi felt a wave of sickness come over her. She felt like screaming, she wanted to punch something. But she took a deep breath and managed to remain calm.

"Typical, that's just bloody typical, isn't it."

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**AN****: Thanks for reading...still enjoying it? Hate it even more than the start? Let me know, I'm all for constructive criticism, so go for it, tell me what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN****: Thanks for all the reviews! I really do love reading them. This story is starting it's decent into darkness, just thought I'd warn you! Enjoy...**

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The sun began to rise as Emily arrived home. She looked up at the lightening sky. If she wasn't still slightly drunk, she would have found the sight rather beautiful. A moment of beauty in the middle of a city suburb. She loved anything to do with the sun; when is rose and when it fell. But she'd found her appreciation for such things melt away as she made the decision to party enough to make up for Katie's inability to. She didn't mean to give up her usual hobbies and interests, but most days she found her mind telling her to go out. She'd lost control of the part of her that could say no.

"Fucking door," she squealed, rubbing her knee after a skin to wood collision. She looked around her bedroom, hoping to find Katie still fast asleep under her covers. But she wasn't, she was sat on the floor. Emily cursed under her breath, hoping that she wasn't to blame for waking her sister.

"Morning," Emily greeted her, smiling her sisters way.

When Emily realised that Katie wasn't responding to her greeting, she rushed to her side. Katie wasn't really sat, but more curled up against the side of the bed.

"Katie? Katie what's wrong?" Emily asked, tapping her sister's pale face.

"I don't know," Katie whispered, her voice barely there and her eyes rolling unnaturally.

"Katie?" Emily asked again, feeling her sister forehead, "You fucking idiot, you're burning up."

"Sorry," Katie sighed, closing her eyes.

"You will be if anything happens to you," Emily snapped, pulling out her mobile phone.

She was usually very careful not to make too much noise, especially when she came in from a night out. But it didn't matter at that moment as she searched through a box for a thermometer, whilst explaining Katie's situation to the emergency services.

"Where the fuck is your damn thermometer?" Emily snapped at Katie, throwing the medical box on the floor, "What is the point of having these things for you, if we cant even find them?"

"What in God's name is all this noise?" a sleepy voice came from the doorway, Emily turned around to see her mother standing there, before rushing to Katie's side, realising the drama.

"Where's her thermometer?" Emily asked, not caring to sound nice.

"James has a bad cold," she replied, before putting a hand to her mouth.

"Ten minutes?" Emily muttered into the phone, "Okay."

"Who was that?" Jenna questioned.

"Ambulance."

Jenna's arms wrapped around Emily's before she could react, "Oh you good girl."

*

Sitting in a hospital waiting room had become normality. It was no more pleasant or enjoyable than when it was unfamiliar. Jenna flicked through a magazine with such haste that Emily knew she wasn't even reading it.

"Can I go now?" Emily asked, bored of waiting around.

"Your sister is in hospital, why would you want to leave?"

Emily rolled her eyes. It was an argument they had almost every time Katie had been there. Jenna thought they should show solidarity and make all the other families jealous. Emily thought she would rather be in a club getting off her face on alcohol and drugs.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Emily sighed, walking out of the room.

"Hurry back," came her mother's response.

But Emily wasn't going back. She wasn't even going to the bathroom. She was going outside, she was going as far away from the hospital and from the thought of Katie's illness as she possibly could, her phone pressed against her ear as she tried to call Naomi.

"Why the fuck won't you answer your phone?" Emily gasped into the handset.

She was frustrated and needed another night out. Naomi had said she'd be around, but she wasn't answering. Finally she gave up and dialled another number.

"I need something," Emily muttered as soon as Effy answered.

"What can I get you? Some more whizz, bit of MDMA?" Effy asked, a chuckle in her voice.

"I'm not fucking around Effy, this isn't to get me through a night out, I need something better than that."

"Charlie? Smack?"

"Anything."

"I don't do that stuff,"

"But you know someone who does?" Emily guessed.

"I might know a guy,"

"Hook me up,"

"Who thought sweet, little Emily Fitch would be sniffing with the big boys,"

"Just get me what I need, for fucks sake,"

"Patience is a virtue."

"I don't care about stupid phrases," Emily snapped, impatiently.

"I'll give you his number, be quicker that way, tell him I sent you."

"Thanks," Emily sighed, "I appreciate it."

"It costs a lot more Ems, watch yourself, its addictive."

Barely listening after gaining the phone number, Emily hung up. She wasn't in the mood for small talk or small drugs. She was ready to forget everything.

*

The house was dark again. It seemed to be that way a lot recently. If they were saving money Naomi would have guessed her mum was playing it smart. But they barely had any money and Tony had said they only needed to pay for food.

"Where did you get that from?" Naomi asked, pointing to the vodka bottle in her mum's hand.

"Got my cash from the jobcentre," Gina muttered.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Naomi gasped, "That money has to last us two weeks, we can't afford alcohol."

"We'll be fine."

Naomi was anything but convinced. She shook her head in disapproval, then took the bottle out of her mum's hands.

"Give that back!"

"Not until you get your fucking act together," she shouted, "This isn't a game mum, this can fuck up our lives, I was supposed to go to university, how am I meant to do that when we have nothing?"

Gina started to laugh, "Don't be ridiculous,"

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"We'll be fine, relax, take a drink," Gina smiled a drunken smile.

"You're fucking off your face in the middle of the day, you're pathetic, completely pathetic."

She couldn't stand being in the same house as her mother any more. She was sick of dealing with her mother like she was a child. She walked straight back out of the house and down the street, walking as fast as her feet could carry her. Only stopping when she saw a small park. She sat down on a wooden bench, tears building in her eyes. She didn't want to cry, she was sick of being on the verge of tears. So she unscrewed the vodka bottle and took a long mouthful. It burnt her throat, sizzling her skin as it travelled down. She hadn't had anything stronger than lager in weeks. It felt good to be out of the house, to be away from her troubles long enough to forget them. She laughed at the irony of telling her mother off for drinking in the middle of the day, when she had taken up the exact same act. If her mum was going to waste their money on alcohol, at least she could share the pleasure.

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**AN****: Thanks for reading...feel free to review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN****: Thanks guys for your thoughts and comments, especially to JM, I'm sorry for breaking your Naomily heart. Thanks vixy844 for pre-reading and helping me whenever I need help and extra motivation.**

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"And where do you think you have been?" Rob greeted Emily. She cursed under her breath and tried to walk past him.

"No, your sister is in hospital, you don't just take off, haven't we taught you anything?"

"You were there," Emily muttered, "What does it matter if I am too?"

Rob took a deep breath, a sad tone in his voice, "Because she asked after you when she woke up."

A slight laugh slipped from Emily's lips. The cocaine she'd taken was already wearing off, but she felt braver than she'd ever felt in front of her dad. They'd grown up with a level of fear, fear of talking back to him, fear of ending up in an argument. But for once, Emily didn't care.

"What is so funny?" he asked, a serious expression on his face.

"Katie doesn't need me, she's got you and mum fucking obsessed with smothering her."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that," her father snapped.

"I'll talk to you how the hell I like,"

"Not while you're still a child you won't, you show me some respect."

Emily just shook her head. She didn't want to waste her time talking, she just wanted to go upstairs and let the drug's effects flow through her brain. But Rob wasn't going to sit back and let her.

"Do you even care what is happening to your sister?" he asked, staring at Emily with concern.

"She never cares about me," Emily rolled her eyes.

"She has pneumonia Emily, something she got because she's got cancer, not a cold, not a little virus, she's got cancer, does that mean nothing to you?"

"Don't you fucking talk to me about that," Emily shouted, "The last three weeks nobody has even said the word cancer except when we found out, what makes it okay to talk about it now?"

She was angry. She was sick of her families reaction to Katie's illness and quite frankly, she was sick of Katie being ill. All it did was send her family into a weird state of not talking about the important things. She wondered if she'd have talked about Katie's illness if they'd given her the chance when it happened. But they'd started the silence, they'd chosen for them to deal with it all individually, instead of as a family. Now that her dad seemed to want to change that, Emily wasn't willing to join in.

*

Moving day number one hundred and six, or so it felt. Naomi carried a box of her possessions into Tony's car, finding a seat somewhere in between a small table that Gina didn't want to part with and the bed sheets she'd bought their first day in the hotel. She felt a strange attachment to Tony's house. He'd turned out to be a decent man who would have let them stay longer if he wasn't moving in with his girlfriend. He drove them through the streets of Bristol. Naomi watched as the okay neighbourhoods went by and some of the nicer ones too. She hoped Geoff's house would be nice, or at least good enough. She thought about her history lessons that week, the in-depth look at World War Two and the lives of children. It felt like she had been put on a train with people she only partially knew, being sent to a place where only strangers were and things may have been completely different.

"Here we are," Gina smiled, her lips curled so much that Naomi could see how fake she was being.

The house in front of them wasn't a house at all, it was a block of flats. Naomi didn't mind it so much, except that they were in one of the most infamous areas in Bristol. Whenever teenagers ended up stabbed or shot, they usually lived or their attacker lived on the Bronlow estate.

"No," Naomi muttered, before repeating it again louder. She Emily willing to live there, not now, not ever.

"I know it's not the best estate in Bristol, but Geoff promised me that it's not as bad as the papers make out."

It was a joke. It had to be a joke. Surely things couldn't get any worse? Naomi thought.

"I am not living there," she snapped, "See what you have done? This, this is all your fault."

"Now Naomi, that's not a very nice way to talk to your mum," Tony tried, but Naomi just shook her head and slid out of the car.

*

"Welcome to my humble abode!" a tall, lanky man with ginger hair and a beard greeted them. Naomi took one look at his dirty teeth and tatty clothes and grunted. She could feel her anger growing. This wasn't right. This wasn't what life was supposed to be like.

"Aren't you pretty?" Geoff stated, running a finger through her hair, "Your mum said you were a looker, she didn't tell me you were Naomi Campbell."

Gina let out a small laugh, Naomi just moaned, "Is that supposed to be some fucking joke?"

"Come on Naomi, be nice."

Geoff chuckled, "Oh I see what I did there."

"Where's my room?" Naomi asked, looking around the small living area.

"Second door," Geoff informed her.

She didn't thank him, or even look at him. She just picked up her box of belongings and carried it towards the room. She didn't want to be there, but at least she could find solace in a private room. Pushing the door open she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She looked around at the modest sized bedroom, it had a Futon which Naomi guessed she would have to share with her mum. She placed her box on the floor and lowered herself onto the sofa bed. Maybe it wasn't so bad. They were staying with another man she didn't know, in the worst estate in Bristol, but maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

*

The corridor was busy, students were moving around, quickly finding books or friends before the next lesson of the day. Naomi was late, having missed her first lesson to help her mum move. She didn't need anything from her locker, so she walked slowly towards her history class. Standing outside was Emily. They hadn't spent very much time together. Naomi wondered if it was her fault, avoiding Emily at all costs to avoid lying further. Or if it was Emily, who was busy caring about Katie. Seeing Emily brightened her day; a smile slid across her face and she would have kissed her passionately right there and then, had Emily not slid into the classroom next door before Naomi had a chance to get near enough. She followed her inside and took a seat beside her.

"Morning," she smiled, sliding a hand up Emily's thigh under the table.

"Oh, hi," Emily smiled back, her eyes looking dark and didn't complete the smile.

"What's wrong?"

Emily shook her head, "I'm fine, Katie's got pneumonia, but she's doing okay."

"Oh, well I hope she gets better really soon."

"Yeah," Emily nodded, turning to the teacher as he began the class.

The class felt like it lasted longer than the hour and a half it was scheduled for. Once they were finally let out, Naomi slid her hand into Emily's and they walked out of the college into the autumn day.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a week," Naomi muttered.

"Sorry," Emily whispered.

"You've been busy, I understand, you're here now."

"You haven't been around much either,"

"I know."

"How are things? How's your mum and the house?"

They were simple questions that Naomi should have been able to answer easily. Instead, she found tears sliding down her cheeks. Even though she'd kept the truth about her living arrangements and financial troubles from Emily, she still felt like she could get upset in her presence.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, stopping and sliding her arms around Naomi's waist.

"I'm fine," Naomi muttered, sniffling.

"You don't look so good Naomi, I know I haven't really been around, but I'm always here if you want to talk."

"I know," Naomi sighed, taking a deep breath, "I want to tell you."

Emily stayed silent giving her chance to talk, Naomi had to say something, she had to respond somehow.

"I just haven't been feeling very well recently, I guess it's just making me more tearful."

The two girls looked at each other, their eyes locked together. Naomi wanted to look away, her lies making her angry at herself. Emily looked back at her, there was a look of sadness in her eyes, but there was also a look of confusion and doubt. Naomi knew that Emily had expected more than she'd told her, but for some reason she didn't pull her up on it. The two shared a slight smile that Naomi could tell was more nervous than real and Emily pulled her into a hug and a kiss.

"Want to go somewhere?" Naomi asked, trying to change the subject as she slid her hands under Emily's shirt and began to play with her bra strap.

Emily bit her lip, "I have a free after lunch, I need to go see Katie."

"Oh," Naomi sighed, feeling more devastated than she thought she would.

"I'm sorry, we can reschedule?"

Naomi nodded. She'd looked to many different places for an escape to her problems and for the first time she'd thought about Emily. Sex between them was usually a special moment and the thought of using that moment to escape her worries made her feel happier than she had felt in weeks. But she hadn't expected Emily's knock down. She leant in and kissed her, letting her hands slide into the back of Emily's skirt.

"Are you sure?"

"Sorry, next time," Emily smiled, a more sincere smile as they parted ways.

*

Katie was asleep. The doctor told Emily that she needed her rest and that she could sit with her, but not to disturb her. It was a reasonable request, but it frustrated her. She pulled up a chair and took Katie's hand in her own, holding it comfortingly. She wondered if it was more comforting for the person holding it, than the person in the hospital bed.

"I'm sorry," Emily muttered, watching Katie's chest rise and fall, "I should have stayed."

No tears had fallen since Katie's diagnosis. Emily was feeling very sad, but still no tears built up. She wanted to cry, she wanted to shout and scream and sob until she felt better. But her eyes stayed dry.

"I'm scared Katie," she mumbled, "I don't want you to be this sick, I wish I could make you better, I wish there was a way for you to not have cancer anymore."

It was difficult to watch Katie sleep, her peaceful body resting happily. Emily wondered if Katie could hear her, in her state of unconsciousness. She didn't want to hide her feelings from her sister anymore, but the thought of telling her how she was feeling, what she was doing to herself, was just too much.

"If I could switch places with you right now, I would do," Emily sighed, "I just want you to be happy again."

Eventually Emily left. She kissed Katie gently on the forehead, apologising again. She felt sick, she wondered if it was an after effect of the cocaine. She didn't really want to do hard drugs, she didn't know why she'd asked Effy to help he get some. It made her feel uncomfortable, knowing that she was dicing with her life so carelessly. She'd wanted to live her life enough for Katie too, she hadn't expected to want to do class As. She felt angry at herself for letting it get so bad. She thought about Naomi, about the things going on in her life that she wouldn't share. Emily knew it was her own fault, she hadn't made herself open to Naomi. No wonder she wasn't talking much, Emily hadn't given her the chance.

*

The group went to a bar and even though Naomi had little money, she decided to go along too. She latched onto JJ, who very easily bought drinks if intimidated enough. It was a trick she'd learnt a few weeks ago. All she had to do was come onto him and he'd buy her anything she wanted.

"What's hot lesbian got on tonight?" Cook asked, slipping an arm around her shoulders and sitting a bit too close for comfort.

"Going home and making love to myself," Naomi answered, rolling her eyes at his obvious reaction.

"I heard you was working at McDonalds," he muttered, taking a long swig of his beer.

Naomi turned quickly, staring at him, fear in her eyes, "How…?"

"Don't look so worried, no one else knows and I won't tell your precious Emily."

"Thanks," Naomi whispered, feeling somewhat relieved.

"What's it like working at the heart attack centre of Bristol?"

Rolling her eyes, Naomi let a slight grin spread across her face, "I got fired."

"What you gonna do now?"

"I don't know, but I need something," Naomi admitted.

"Might be able to help you out with that, if you're nice to me," Cook informed her.

"I'm always nice to you Cookie," Naomi patting his arm with a hopeful grin.

By the time Naomi had left, Cook had hooked her up with a job at a market stall. It sounded like meagre work, but it was better than nothing. She wondered how it was so easy to share her worries with Cook, when it was so difficult to share them with Emily.

*

It was quiet in the flat when Naomi arrived home. She didn't want to turn the light on, through fear of waking anyone. But as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, the living area light came on and Geoff was sat there, with a stern look on his face.

"Where have you been?"

"Out," Naomi muttered, continuing to walk to the bathroom.

"Don't leave the room when I'm talking to you."

Frowning, Naomi turned around, "What?"

"Out isn't an answer."

"Out with friends," Naomi expanded, "Not that it's any of your business."

His lips stayed straight, an intimidating look on his face, "It is my business when you're under my roof."

"Jeez, you're not my dad," Naomi rolled her eyes.

There was silence. Geoff stood up and walked closer to her. She didn't leave the room, but stared at him in confusion.

"Do you want something else?"

"You know, you and your mum staying here for free isn't really a suitable arrangement."

"I've got a job, we can help out," she assured him.

"I wasn't really looking for money," he muttered, stepping closer.

He was tall; Naomi figured at least six foot one. He towered over her, despite her being taller than average. She wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, until his hand touched her shoulder and his other hand stroked her cheek.

"We can come to some other sort of arrangement," he smiled.

She slapped his hand away, stepping backwards, "Are you some kind of pervert? No way."

"Then I think my offer of a room isn't really open anymore, what do you think of that?"

"Are you threatening me into sleeping with you?" Naomi asked, angrily.

"I am simply asking for payment for a service, you either pay up or you'll be living on the street."

Naomi felt sick. The man in front of her was practically a stranger. She'd never heard her mum mention him and she doubted she knew him well. She couldn't believe what he was asking and she was angry at her mother for putting her in such a position.

"Then I guess we'll be living on the street then," she replied.

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**AN****: JM, I'm sorry again...I know this one won't have helped your breaking heart. Thanks for reading...feel free to review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN****: I seem to be on a roll with this chapter malarky, not long til this story will be over to be honest. We'll see. I hope you enjoy, though I suspect all this angst is a bit much for some of you? I will be starting another part to my previous series, where hopefully there will be more happy times that I know you all love for our Naomily.**

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"Naomi love, what is going on?" Gina gasped, following Naomi out of the flats and onto the quiet streets. Naomi didn't stop, she didn't want to talk, she just wanted to get as far away as possible.

"Naomi, please, can we go back to Geoff's and talk about this?"

Turning around on the spot, Naomi stared at her mum, looking her deep in the eye as she spoke.

"You want to talk? You want to fucking talk? What sort of messed up deal did you come to?"

Gina looked scared, she wrapped her arms around her front and leaned backwards, intimidated by her daughter. The level of anger that Naomi felt was boiling over. She'd managed to maintain a certain level of anger in the past, but for the first time it was tipping over the top, spilling itself over with such force that Naomi probably could have punched someone.

"Well?" Naomi shouted, "Are you gonna tell me what gave that pervert of a man the idea that he was going to fuck me for payment?"

"I, I don't know what you're talking about," Gina whispered, taken aback.

"You fucking liar, don't you dare tell me you don't know what I'm talking about, this is your fault, all of this is your fucking fault."

"You, you, you must be mistaken," Gina stuttered, her voice shaking with fear.

"Don't you fucking say that, you have no fucking clue do you?" Naomi shouted, shaking her head with frustration.

"Naomi, please, Geoff is a good man who is doing us a favour, don't be stupid, come home."

Home. Naomi could feel herself calming down. But instead of the anger came a bout of tears. Gina was staring at her with a look of confusion. Naomi began to sob as the tears slid down her face. She let the droplets slide down to her mouth before she finally spoke. Her voice had grown quiet, barely a whisper as she gasped for breath.

"I don't have a home, I don't have a fucking home anymore because of you."

The two blondes stood opposite each other on the pavement. Gina's eyes down turned with sadness at the sight of her daughter. Naomi's sight blurred with tears. She reached forwards to touch her daughter's shoulders, but Naomi flinched.

"Don't you touch me," she cried, "I can't fucking do this anymore mum, you fucked up my entire life, I can't do this anymore."

"Naomi please," Gina cried, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Please just come back to Geoff's,"

Naomi shook her head, her face red and stained, "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you? I'm not going back to that fucking flat, not while that man is there."

"But Naomi," Gina tried. She was quickly interrupted, not by words, but by Naomi walking away. Blocking out the rest of the plea as she took herself as far from her mother as possible. She kept walking, pushing her feet onto the floor, moving herself away from everything that filled her head. She didn't stop until her feel were tired, her body was cold and her tears had run dry.

The city streets were lighter than Naomi remembered. The streetlights making her feel somewhat comforted by the lack of dark corners. She didn't want to spend the night outside, nor did she want to spend it at Geoff's. She couldn't really remember where Cook lived and as much as she wanted to go to Emily, she was scared of what would happen if she did. She was scared of spending the night outside. Homeless with a roof for the night was one thing, homeless with nothing was another. Naomi quickly regretted wearing only a small jacket instead of her thicker wintry coat. The temperature was dropping by the minute and Naomi recalled something about a cold snap in the paper the day before.

"Fucking hell," Naomi muttered, her teeth beginning to chatter as she found herself walking through the main street.

She'd walked it many times, especially in the evening when there were homeless people hanging around. She'd made fun of some of them using newspaper and boxes for shelter. As she walked the same path, she wished she had something like that to help keep out the cold. As if it couldn't get any worse, the heavens opened and an icy rain began to fall. Naomi jumped into the nearest back alley where she found a large bin filled with boxes and waste. She pulled a couple of boxes out and found a corner away from the street and the pouring rain. She thought of the first night in the hotel, of the luxury that was compared to how she'd ended up. For a moment she wondered if sex with Geoff could be better than a night in freezing cold Bristol.

*

A woman left the room after delivering lunch to Katie's hospital bed. Emily stood up to help her sister rearrange herself so that she could reach the food.

"What have I missed?" Katie asked, sticking a fork into a questionable piece of meat.

"Nothing much," Emily assured her, "Dad being his usual self and mum stressing out because you're in here."

"And mum said that when you get out, she's going to buy you some girlie pants," James grinned his cheeky boyish grin.

The usual reaction to James' crudeness was a slap on the head, but Emily merely frowned at him and to her surprise, Katie just laughed. Unfortunately, laughing sent Katie into a fit of coughing.

"Are you okay?" Emily checked, standing beside her, handing her a glass of water which she sipped gratefully.

"When are you coming home?" James asked, his face less than pleased at being laughed at.

"The doctor said a couple of days, but it depends on how I feel," Katie informed them, another coughing fit taking over.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Emily checked, rubbing her back as she coughed, "I can go get the doctor."

"I'm fine," Katie muttered, "They said it's good to cough, helps clear my lungs."

"You sound worse than a horse having a baby," James muttered.

"Thanks James," Katie smiled, "But I think I sound better than a horse,"

"Your cough is pretty nasty, are you sure you can go home soon?"

Katie nodded, "Don't worry so much, it is possible to manage this at home."

"If you're sure,"

"I am," Katie laughed, "The doctor wouldn't let me go if it wasn't okay."

A nurse appeared and informed them that visiting hours were over. Emily reluctantly hugged Katie goodbye and led James out into the car park.

"She is okay, isn't she?" James asked, worry in his eyes.

"I don't know," Emily muttered, not even thinking about her answer, until she heard a small sob from beside her.

It was strange seeing her little brother cry. He cried all the time as a little kid, but ever since he turned nine he'd put on a brave face for everything. It didn't help that their dad told him to pull himself together if he ever looked sad. Emily wasn't sure what to do, whether to hug him, or to let him cry. Thankfully he took the choice out of her hands and pushed his face against her front, wrapping his arms around her back.

"Oh James," she muttered, wrapping her arms around his back to comfort him, "I didn't mean that, she's doing okay, you heard what she said, she can come home soon."

"She's still got cancer though, hasn't she? This is just extra."

She'd barely thought about it that way, but seeing Katie's illness from James' view was very different. She'd spent most of her energy ignoring what was happening. But her little brother was right. They were worrying about Katie having pneumonia, when that was only a small problem in comparison to the leukaemia.

"She's having treatment for that," Emily reminded him, "She's doing okay."

"But she can't have the chemo while she's got pneumonia, won't that make her iller?" he checked.

Emily wondered where all his questions were coming from. Then she remembered the discussion their parents had had with the specialist. She'd not really paid attention, preferring to think about going out and getting drunk than Katie's health. It was selfish. But it was the only way she could survive each day.

"Look James," Emily sighed, leaning down to his height, "Katie is getting treatment, they're going to make her better, that's all you need to remember, okay?"

James nodded.

"There's dad, we'd best go or you'll be late for afternoon lessons."

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**AN****: Thanks for reading...this chapter actually broke my heart just a little as I was writing Naomi's part. Please review, even if you hated it, I need to know if it's no good!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN****: Welcome back to reviewing Vixy! JM, I'm sorry that this story is breaking your heart. Just be thankful I'm not doing something I had planned, which I may tell you about in the final chapter. I hope you especially and everyone else enjoys this chapter, hopefully it'll make you feel a little happier, though the story isn't over yet. Question; do you want happiness now or in a sequel? Lol.**

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Not once in the year or so she'd been at college did Naomi turn up completely unwashed. The bathroom got a welcomed visit the moment she set foot in the college and she wondered just how she would go about brushing off the dirt from her clothes. She knew there was a weird smell hanging off her. It was nothing short of disgusting. But she had no way of removing it. Much to her luck, a first year girl stared at her with a funny expression, before leaving the bathroom and leaving her body spray behind. Naomi sprayed as much of it as possible without making people throw up from the thick perfumed scent. She was thankful to the college for their warm building, which quickly heated up her freezing cold bones as she walked to her classroom. Naomi considered the night in front of her. Another night outside, in the middle of the coldest autumn they'd seen in years.

"Naomi," came a voice from down the corridor.

Lifting her head instantly, Naomi felt her heart skip a beat and a level of embarrassment hit her on sight of Emily. She wondered if she still had time to turn and walk away, but then she realised Emily had seen her looking and it was too late.

"Big night out?" Emily smiled, picking at a piece of dirt in her hair. Naomi simply smiled and let Emily's lips touch hers in greeting.

"I was going to call you last night, but your phone went dead, then when I called your house some woman answered."

Panic rose in Naomi's chest and she wondered just how she was going to get around Emily's observation, "That'd be Jan, she's some friend of mums, she never remembers that I live there."

"Oh," Emily nodded, the lie seeming to be accepted.

"We're having a water problem," Naomi informed her, "We don't have any hot water for a week,"

"How did that happen?" Emily questioned, lapping up the lies like a cat with cream.

A slight successful smile hit Naomi's lips, "The guy refitting the bathroom thought it smart to throw a spanner at the pipe."

"Do you want to come shower at mine?" Emily asked, helpfully.

Naomi nodded, a thankful and relieved smile on her face. She hated that it felt good for Emily to accept her lies, but what choice did she have?

*

It had felt like a while since Emily and Naomi had spent any time together. It had been a spur of the moment decision to skip their afternoon classes in order for Naomi to shower and the two of them to spend some time together. Emily sat patiently in her bedroom as the shower started up. No one was home and Emily suspected they would be visiting Katie as soon as visiting hours began. She took a deep breath, feeling brave and slightly horny with Naomi in her house. The blond very rarely visited. It felt slightly risky, thinking about what they could do while her parents were out. It took only seconds for her to strip off and walk towards the bathroom. The door was closed but on close inspection, Naomi hadn't locked the door.

"Naomi?" Emily muttered, entering the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Naomi replied, the word drawing out longer as she caught sight of Emily, completely naked in the middle of the bathroom.

"I thought I'd join you, if that's okay?"

Naomi's lips curled up at the sides and she held a hand out for Emily to take. Stepping closer, Emily and Naomi collided in a passionate kisses, their hands exploring each other in a new way as the water gushed down on them from above.

*

The shower had been exciting. But not as exciting as Emily's bed. It had been a forbidden place, where neither of them even thought about sharing themselves with each other. Sex in the Fitch house had a level of excitement that made Naomi enjoy each moment more than the one before.

"I like this," Naomi grinned, letting her arms rest around Emily's shoulder.

"Me too," Emily smiled back, "I'm glad no one is home."

"I want to take this moment to thank the Fitch's for leaving me alone to fuck their daughter, twice," Naomi informed the room, a pretend sob in her voice, making Emily laugh.

"I miss this," she sighed.

"So do I."

"I want to fix things with you," she continued.

A flutter in Naomi's stomach made her feel slightly sick. They'd spent an amazing couple of hours together and she wanted nothing more than to fix their relationship and spend more time together. But Naomi knew that to truly commit to that, she had to tell Emily the truth.

"I know it's been a bit weird between us, with Katie."

Naomi wasn't sure if she wanted the conversation to continue, through fear of what it would mean for her. But Emily carried on anyway.

"I've missed you, the amount of times I've sat here wishing to tell you, to talk to you," Emily began, but they were quickly interrupted by the opening of Emily's bedroom door.

It was their worst nightmare, the one reason they had never had sex in Emily's bed before. The two of them sat up, covering themselves as best as they could, as they stared into the eyes of Rob and Jenna Fitch. There was a silence. A long, drawn out silence that Naomi knew was a sign of bad things to come. Jenna's eyes grew wide with anger and confusion, Rob's face grew red with embarrassment and Naomi could only assume, anger.

"What do you think you two are doing?" Jenna gasped.

Naomi wanted to answer, she wanted to apologise and leave swiftly. But Emily had already begun talking.

"Having sex, what does it look like?"

It was something she hadn't expected Emily to say and by the looks of her parents faces, neither had Rob and Jenna.

"Your sister is in hospital and all you can think about is this stupid phase you're going through?" Jenna asked, almost spitting out her words with a level of disgust.

"What has Katie got to do with this?" Emily asked, sliding a top over her behind the privacy of the bedcovers.

"Your sister is coming home tomorrow, she doesn't need you carrying on in the bed beside her,"

Naomi watched her girlfriend and her girlfriend's parents vocal tennis as they swapped statements about Katie being ill and how that did or didn't mean it was okay to bring people home. Naomi took a deep breath, searching for a way to escape the mess they were in.

"What the fuck has Katie being ill got to do with my sexuality?" Emily asked, "If Naomi was a guy dad would have punched her by now and I'd never see her again, this isn't some phase, we love each other."

"I think I should go," Naomi eventually muttered, partially dressing under the covers before sliding her skirt on and walking out onto the landing.

"No, Naomi," Emily began, but her parents interrupted her.

"I think that's a good idea," Rob nodded at Naomi who smiled a sympathetic smile at Emily before disappearing out of the room.

"But I wanted to talk to you," Naomi could hear Emily cry out to her, she muttered an apology before leaving the house, her eyes filling with tears.

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**AN****: Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone for their comments on this story, they do mean a lot to me, even if they aren't the happiest of views. Feel free to let me know your thoughts again...just hit the comments button below.**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN****: Thanks for the reviews...you guys make my day, jm I just love your reviews, they make me laugh. You also make a good point with happiness being rushed if I do it now.**

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Tears rolled down Naomi's cheeks. Things had been so perfect, for the first time in weeks Naomi actually felt like her life was okay. Looking back at her few short hours with Emily, she regretted not telling her the truth. She hadn't planned to tell her, but she knew that had they had a little longer together, she would have felt ready to share. She knew Emily didn't want her to go, she was about to talk to her, share something too. They'd spent too many days not talking and for once they were both ready. Until Rob and Jenna ruined it. She couldn't tell her now. She couldn't ask her for a bed for the night, she couldn't beg for her forgiveness. It was all ruined.

The air was cold, the frosty afternoon taking her body into an instant chill. She realised she'd left her jacket at Emily's, a mistake that she knew could cost her health. She snaked through the streets, searching for the best place to spend the night. She stopped by the shopping centre and silently thanked the person who invented late night shopping. She looked at the clothes, imagining what she could buy when she finally had some money. Then she hung around a cafe, waiting patiently for someone to grow distracted and leave a coffee half empty. She felt ashamed to be watching strangers, hoping to share their drinks. But she was cold and feared a second night in the outdoors. The staff were too watchful and quickly cleared tables. Noticing several people get their drinks to take away, Naomi followed a woman, wondering the chances of her dropping a half drunk cup in the bin. The woman stopped beside a wall, fixing up her tights. Naomi saw her chance and lifted the cup from the wall, sliding behind it before the woman had even looked up. She felt the need to run, to escape from her crime before stopping to sip the drink. It felt good, warming her body from the inside out. She found herself watching people more closely as they continued to shop into the early evening. But to no avail.

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For once the hospital felt like a comfortable place to be. Emily had spent so many hours visiting Katie that it was beginning to feel like a second home. She sat by her bed, watching Katie look through her bag.

"What are you looking for?" Emily asked.

"My toothbrush, mum said she packed it earlier, but I want to brush my teeth before I go,"

"Let me," Emily smiled, taking the bag from her sister and searching the pockets, "How long til you can go?"

"The doctor is just checking my test results, then she can discharge me."

It was a long wait, Katie was obviously tired and needed some rest, but the doctor was taking her time.

"Finally!" Emily announced, standing up as the specialist entered the room.

"I'm sorry I'm late, we've had a busy evening."

"Can I go?" Katie asked, sliding out of the bed.

"Hold up there a moment Katie," Doctor Colan smiled.

There was a look in her eye that worried Emily. Doctor Colan had been fantastic, she didn't hold a sympathetic look like many doctors did and she always had a smile on her face.

"What is it?" Emily asked, prompting a glance from Katie.

"Are your parents here?" Doctor Colan asked.

The twins shared a look and Katie finally picked up on the doctors response, "No, they'll be here in fifteen minutes, what's wrong?"

"I'd rather wait for your parents to arrive," the doctor muttered.

Katie had been strong, she'd managed to maintain a level of calm that shocked Emily every time she saw her. But for the first time, Emily could see the worry in her sisters eyes. She had a front that was very successful, but as much as she hid behind a mask, she was struggling with the cancer as much as everyone else.

"I'm eighteen in less than a three month," Katie informed the doctor, "I have a right to know what is going on, I'm not a child."

Doctor Colan nodded, her eyes saddened somewhat. There was a silence that made Emily wonder if she had just gone deaf. The woman didnt speak at first, then she cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"Katie, I've been having a look at your test results and it appears that the treatment you're under isn't quite as effective as we would like,"

"What does that mean?" Katie asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Emily didn't understand. She didn't know what the doctor was talking about and she had no idea why Katie was crying. She turned to the doctor, waiting for her to answer her sister's question.

"You've had a relapse, we will need to rethink your treatment plan and look into alternatives,"

"Alternatives?" Katie asked, a slight frustration in her voice, "Like what?"

"There are some alternative drugs that we can use, that should have a better success rate," the doctor informed them.

"Will I still have the chemo?"

"That's neither here nor there until we establish your new treatment program, you can go home as planned but we need you to come back in tomorrow morning, with your parents, to discuss the plan."

Emily didn't understand what was going on, she was slowly processing everything the doctor was saying and everything Katie was reacting to. She wanted to understand the conversation better, but she realised how much she didn't know about her sisters disease.

"So I might have lost all my hair, for nothing?" Katie asked, a frightened look in her eyes, "Will this make me more sick?"

Doctor Colan took a deep breath, a battle obviously going on inside her mind, "We need to discuss this properly Katie, it's not a conversation we can have in five minutes. Your treatment so far has been ineffective, which has not helped your recovery, but we are working on finding the best treatment possible."

"You didn't answer her question," Emily muttered, her voice feeling weak as she spoke, "Has the cancer got worse because the treatment was wrong?"

Doctor Colan shook her head, "It doesn't quite work like that, we have been doing everything we can to fight the disease, the treatment hasn't been as effective as it sometimes is,"

"Which means she's worse?!" Emily gasped, not listening to the doctor as she continued to explain the situation.

"Emily, it's going to be okay," Katie assured her.

There was an irony that Emily found anything but humorous; she wasn't even the one who was ill, but she was reacting worse than Katie. She stared at her sister unable to understand how she was so calm when they'd just found out that weeks of treatment hadn't done very much. She felt sick, she felt like everything was going wrong. She knew she was being selfish, that Katie needed her to be strong and be there for her, not the other way around. But her mind was fuzzy, her thoughts weren't processing effectively. She took a deep breath, hoping to calm herself down. But it didn't work.

"Emily?" Katie muttered, trying to get her attention, but Emily just turned around and walked out of the room. She could hear Katie talking to the doctor, something to do with being worried. Emily just carried on walking, gasping for breath as she reached the fresh air.

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**AN****: Thanks for reading...please review! This was going to be a massive chapter, but I cut it in half, enjoy this half!**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN****: Thanks for your reviews...this chapter is the most heartbreaking I have ever written, don't let that put you off though, it's also one of the longest chapters I've ever written. I hope it gives you plenty to stick your teeth into.**

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The dealer was relatively well dressed and smelled quite nice for someone Emily had always associated with homelessness. It was the second time she'd visited him. She remembered the last time she'd been desperate and how she promised herself she wouldn't end up there again. But she couldn't handle the thoughts that were running through her head.

"I, I need something," Emily stuttered, "Cocaine."

"Ain't got none, getting some tomorrow," the dealer muttered.

She could feel herself shaking. She isn't know if she was nervous, scared or even cold. But she had to take a deep breath to maintain a level of calm long enough.

"That's not good enough," Emily gasped, finding it difficult to breath, "I need something, I need it now."

"Got some H if you're interested," he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders, "For you I'll cut you a good deal,"

She wasn't even sure what he meant by H, whether it was heroin or something else. She didn't dare ask, instead she just nodded her head, accepting his offer like a child being given a second slice of cake. They made the exchange and Emily carried the drugs away.

"What are you doing?" she asked herself, her conscience finally bringing her back to reality, "You don't want to do this."

But she did. She needed something to take her mind off everything that was invading her head. It felt like a drill was driving around her brain, pushing through every space where she could find peace and interrupting it with plenty of noise. Her head was ready to explode. She found a public toilet near the bus station, where she washed her face and stared at her reflection. It was enough to make her take the drugs. She took the roll up and dug deeply into her pocket for a lighter. The roll up lit quickly and she slowly breathed in the smoke. It made her cough a little from lack of doing it. She suspected that it was in fact heroin that she had taken, recalling information in a class at the start of their first college year. She left the public toilets and walked away from the bus station, letting her feet lead her to a bench where they finally gave way and made her sit down. Her head grew light as the drug began to react in her system. The thoughts she had in her head, the worries that had taken her into a world of pain and suffering were slowly disappearing. She felt happy and warm, the buzz making her feel like everything was alright. But it wasn't.

"Fuck," Emily gasped as the buzz began to disappear and her body felt weak.

It wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want a quick buzz, she wanted a long, drawn out evening that left her cares away. But this wasn't like that, it didn't make her feel better, it made her feel worse. She stood up, taking a few steps towards the bus station, hoping to catch the bus home. But before she'd even taken one step, she could feel the world move beneath her feet and an overwhelming urge to throw up hit. Emily rushed towards a small bush, almost landing on the floor as she crouched beside it, letting her insides out into the dirt below.

"Fucking hell," Emily cried, her head pounding and her body not righting itself. She didn't want to be under the influence anymore. She didn't want to take drugs. She felt sick and dizzy, disorientated by the world moving around beneath her.

Disorientated and alone, Emily wandered through the streets of Bristol. Her awareness of the things around her were sketchy and she cared little for her safety as she stumbled around. Every once in a while she had to stop to be sick, which made her sob loudly. She knew she was a mess and she knew that it was a mistake, but she couldn't find a way to fix it. She kept walking until she reached a door that felt familiar, though she couldn't seem to remember why. When a woman answered the door she smiled at her.

"Naomi?"

The woman frowned, her face coming into focus long enough for Emily to realise it wasn't Naomi stood in front of her.

"Where is she?" she asked, gasping for breath as a wave of sickness knocked her down.

"I don't know who you're talking about," the woman answered, "Are you okay?"

Emily held onto the door frame, her feet unsteady. She started to cry again.

"Where the fuck is she?" Emily sobbed, looking at the woman, trying to get an answer.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you're talking about, can I phone someone for you?"

Emily nodded her head, "Naomi, Naomi," she cried, moving away from the door and falling onto her knees on the small grassed garden. Emily turned as the front door closed and she shouted to them, "Where the fuck is she? Don't you fucking close the door,"

Feeling her stomach rumble, her mouth growing moist, Emily knew she was about to be sick again. She let her stomach take control before laying down on the grass, fumbling in her pocket for her phone. It took a while to get what she wanted, but she finally heard Naomi's voice on the other side of the phone.

"Emily?" Naomi asked, "This will have to be quick, my battery is about to go,"

Hearing her girlfriends voice was all she needed to cry louder and harder. She sobbed into the phone.

"Emily," Naomi gasped, trying to get some sense out of her, "Emily talk to me, tell me where you are?"

"Why aren't you at home?" Emily finally asked, "Why are there weird people in your house?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone, but it didn't really make a difference, Emily continued sobbing, rolling over and dropping the phone onto the grass.

"Emily?" Naomi gasped again, "Emily? Talk to me,"

But within seconds the phone line went dead.

*

It was the strangest conversation Naomi had ever had. She was sat on the floor of a cold and dark alleyway, her body colder than it should have been for the night to go well. When Emily's name flashed up on screen she'd half expected her to ask her to join her in a bar or at least ask how she was, she certainly didn't expect her to sound a mess. She didn't know what to do, her only clue in what Emily had said about her house. It scared her that Emily could have found out the truth, but she was worried about her girlfriend and she knew that was more important than keeping secrets. She walked across town, running once in a while to keep her temperature up. It was a freezing cold night, but it didn't matter anymore. She just had to find Emily. She contemplated calling Emily's parents, but she knew they wouldn't be best pleased getting a call from "the one who turned Emily". When she reached her old house she saw a police car sat outside and two officers handling a young woman in the middle of the lawn. Naomi rushed towards them.

"Excuse me, where are you taking her?"

"That isn't any of your business young lady," one of the officers informed her.

"Please, she's my girlfriend, she's got some problems in her life at the moment,"

"We're just going to take her home," the other officer announced.

"Let me," Naomi muttered.

"I'm sorry but we can't do that, we've had a complaint off the couple who own this house, she's been verbally abusive,"

"Please," Naomi begged, "she trusts me, this used to be my house, she needs me."

"Naomi!" Emily grinned, struggling under the grip of the officers before falling into Naomi's arms.

"Hey you, what's going on here?"

"I feel sick," Emily groaned, her insides escaping onto the ground between Naomi and the police officers.

"Do you promise to take her immediately home?"

Naomi nodded, assuring the officers that she would do as she said, before they left them alone.

*

Carrying her girlfriend's body weight as she leant against her, Naomi analysed Emily carefully. She'd seen Emily drunk before and she'd watched her having smoked hash and taken MDMA. But she'd never seen her quite so bed. She tried to get her attention to ask her what was wrong, but her eyes were all over the place and she was obviously more than drunk.

"What have you taken Ems?" she asked, struggling to lead her through the neighbourhood.

It was difficult to carry Emily's weight, holding her up when she didn't want to take control of her own legs. She threw up at various points, leaving Naomi smelling of vomit.

"I can't do this anymore," Naomi muttered, pulling her along until they'd stopped on someone's driveway.

Naomi found a hose attached to an outdoor tap and sent a stream of freezing cold water in Emily's direction. It wasn't the best idea on a cold night, but Naomi had run out of the best ideas. She watched as Emily reacted badly to the cold water, waving her arms about, her face growing angry. Naomi laughed slightly at Emily's comical reaction. Eventually she turned off the hose and moved to Emily's side.

"Feeling better?"

The red head rolled her eyes, taking a long deep breath as tears built in her eyes. Naomi watched her girlfriend go from sobering up, to sobbing again.

"Ems?" she whispered, feeling guilty for covering her with the water. She leant forwards, wrapping herself around Emily's body as she began to shiver.

It was too cold to stay outside. Naomi helped a sobbing Emily to her feet and they made their way through the streets until they were stood in front of the Fitch house. The windows were dark, suggesting the family was asleep, much to Naomi's appreciation. She found Emily's key and unlocked the door, helping her girlfriend into the lounge room.

"I found this blanket, you should get out of those wet clothes," Naomi ordered Emily, who nodded in silence, before doing as Naomi said. Naomi went into the kitchen and made some got drinks whilst giving Emily privacy. She entered the lounge to find Emily crying again.

"Don't cry, I hate seeing you so sad," Naomi muttered, putting the hot mugs on the table, before pulling Emily into her arms.

It took a while, but Emily eventually stopped crying. Naomi didn't move her arms, which were wrapped tightly around Emily's. She could feel her girlfriend shaking.

"Are you still cold?"

"No," Emily replied, her first word for nearly an hour.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Naomi asked, rubbing Emily's back.

"I took heroin," Emily admitted, a sentence that took Naomi back.

"Heroin?" she gasped, feeling scared, "Why? What could make you do such a thing?"

Tears fell from Emily's eyes again, but this time she could still talk.

*

There was a silence. A long silence that Emily could tell made Naomi uncomfortable, eventually she gave in and filled it.

"Katie's treatment isn't working, she has to go onto something else," Emily admitted, telling Naomi about the treatment for the first time.

"Is she going to be okay?" Naomi asked, a level of calm that made Emily feel guilty for being such a mess.

"They need to find the best option now, they didn't really say any more."

"These doctors are pretty good at this kind of thing," Naomi mumbled, "I bet they know what they're doing."

"I'm just," Emily began, sniffling, "I just feel so scared."

The red head pushed her face into her girlfriends chest, finding comfort in her arms for the first time since Katie's diagnosis.

"It's okay to be scared," Naomi admitted, "This is big, it's okay to be worried."

"What if they can't make her better?" Emily began to sob, "What if she dies? I couldn't handle that, I can't live without her."

It was heartbreaking. Emily could sense Naomi's heart twisting just watching her in tears. They usually shared their pain, feeling what the other felt. But Emily had kept that from happening.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "I should have talked to you, I shouldn't have let it get this bad."

They shared a look that Emily couldn't understand. Naomi looked scared, worried but not how Emily expected. She looked nervous and guilty.

Naomi quickly interrupted her thoughts, "Why heroin?"

Emily could feel herself laugh, she knew it was the wrong reaction, but it was what she felt like doing, "Because the guy didn't have any cocaine."

"This is serious Emily, don't make jokes."

"It's not a joke," Emily admitted, "I wanted cocaine, but the dealer ran out."

"I can't believe you took class A drugs."

Taking a deep breath, Emily looked into Naomi's eyes, "I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling, I let myself get into a place where I wanted to take something to get my mind off what was happening. One day I went too far and I promised I wouldn't do it again, but tonight I did."

Brushing her hair from her eyes, Naomi pressed her lips against Emily's cheek, "You should have come to me."

"I know, I'm sorry." Emily replied, "I want you to stay with me, I need you," Emily mumbled, wiping her eyes.

Naomi nodded, "I'm here and I wont go anywhere until you tell me otherwise."

They lay together on the sofa, arm in arm, skin to skin. If things weren't so bad, Emily would have hoped they'd get a little closer. But she knew it wasn't the time or the place. She felt comforted by the closeness, safe in her girlfriends arms. She could feel her body drifting into a state of unconsciousness. She was quickly pulled from her sleep by her actions from earlier in the evening returning to her.

"Naomi?" she whispered, Naomi murmured a response.

"Naomi, why was a woman I've never met living in your house?"

"Maybe it was Jan," Naomi replied quickly. Emily shook her head, knowing her response didn't feel right.

"It wasn't Jan, she didn't know anyone called Naomi, she called the police."

"I," Naomi began, her voice growing quieter.

"Naomi?" Emily asked, sitting up.

"I can't tell you," Naomi whispered, a sensitivity about her that made Emily feel bad for questioning her. But she also knew she had to keep at it, or Naomi would never tell her.

"Things haven't been right for a while, you've been acting strangely, not letting me come back to yours, what's going on?"

Naomi's eyes were like a deer in the headlight, they were wide and frightened, as though the worst thing possible was about to happen. Emily had been so blind, her own problems clouding whatever was going on for Naomi.

"I have been so selfish lately, but I want us to fix our relationship properly. For that to happen we have to be completely honest," Emily informed her, "If not, we'll have nothing left."

Naomi lowered her gaze, her eyes looking towards the floor. Emily wanted to stare into her girlfriends deep blue eyes, but instead she waited for a response.

"I don't live there anymore,"

The words were barely audible, but Emily still heard them. She thought for a moment that she was hearing things because she couldn't quite understand what was going on.

"Why?" she asked, frowning.

"Mum lost the house," Naomi admitted, her face red with embarrassment.

"She lost the house?" Emily repeated.

"She lost the house and she ran out of money, we had to stay with her friend until he kicked us out."

It was difficult to hear what Naomi was saying, but as the words began to process, she grew more and more confused.

"The last few nights I've been living on the street."

Emily gasped, not quite sure how to take what she was hearing. She felt a new wave of sickness, but she knew it wouldn't amount to anything. She moved away from Naomi, struggling to look at her.

"You," she began to say, stuttering between gasps, "You have been lying to me?"

"No," Naomi began, "Yes."

"You've been lying to me, for how long?"

"Since the first day of college."

Emily choked on the air, struggling to understand what was going on. "You've been lying to me for nearly eight weeks?"

Naomi's eyes were tearful and her face broke into sobs. Emily knew it was her chance to repay the comfort that Naomi had given her earlier in the evening. But all she could see was red.

"You came to my house and accused me of lying to you when the only person who was lying...was you."

Naomi wasn't saying anything, she sat staring at her hands, a look of sheer sorrow and embarrassment the only thing on her face.

Emily was growing angry, she couldn't help herself, "You fucking bitch, how dare you lie to me?!"

"Emily, please," Naomi begged, but she just shook her head.

"My sister has something that people die from, she is in and out of hospital on all sorts of medications trying to get better and you lie to me about something so, so...stupid. What the fuck did you think I was going to do?"

"Please," Naomi sobbed, reaching out to touch Emily's arm.

"Don't, you cant just cry and expect me to get over this,"

"But my life," Naomi sobbed, "I have nothing if I don't have you."

"None of what you told me was true, all those lies, your house being decorated? Why would you," Emily gasped, utterly shocked by Naomi's confession.

"I need you," Naomi cried, curled up on the sofa, a mess.

Emily shook her head, struggling to remain calm as she continued to shake her head. Naomi started to sob louder, her body shaking with continued tears.

"I think you should go," Emily told her.

"But I have nowhere to go," Naomi sobbed.

Emily just shook her head. She felt sympathy, an overwhelming urge to envelope Naomi in her arms and tell her she could stay and that everything would be okay. But when she thought about how angry Naomi had got because she'd failed to mention Katie's illness the day after she found out, she felt sick. She didn't want to be the bad person who kicked out her homeless girlfriend, but she couldn't stand the thought of seeing her any longer. Naomi eventually stood up and Emily watched her walk towards the doorway, stepping outside into the freezing cold night with barely more than a t-shirt for warmth. It occurred to Emily that it was too cold outside, but then she closed the door and pushed the thought aside long enough for her to lie back down on the sofa and fall into a deep sleep.

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**AN****: So there we go, that chapter finished...and Emily and Naomi's secrets are finally out in the open. Obviously their reactions were very different. PLEASE leave reviews or comments, I would love to know what you're thinking right now. Thanks for reading and I apologise again for how heartbreaking and angsty this story is!**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN****: Thanks to everyone who has been waiting patiently for more and for the reviews on the last chapter. I was struggling to write the next chapter, but now I'm stuck because the end I was going to do I'm not so sure about. So feel free to make suggestions on where you want this story to go.**

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Light filled the room as the curtains of the lounge were opened quickly. Emily moved her hands to her face, her head pounding as she woke from her slumber. Despite the headache, she was feeling better than she had the night before. She stared around the room to find her parents staring at her.

"Where have you been?" Jenna asked.

"Here, asleep," Emily replied, her words slightly slurred with sleep.

"Not now, last night."

"I was out."

"You left the hospital again, you left your sister when she needed you," Rob complained.

She didn't want to think about it. She had too much going on inside her brain. Katie was struggling to fight her cancer, Naomi was homeless and had been lying to her since college started and she'd taken heroin in the hope to escape. Her whole life was a joke. It was something she expected to see in Eastenders not her own life.

"I don't fucking care," Emily replied, staring at the walls, avoiding looking into her parent's eyes.

"Don't you dare talk to your father like that," Jenna snapped, staring at her.

"Just leave me alone."

There was a silence. The parents stood on one side of the room, united. Emily sat on the other, alone, confused and still suffering from the aftermaths of the drugs. She could feel the glands in her eyes kick into action and tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.

"We're not going to leave you alone until you start telling us why you won't hang around every time your sister needs you, we're a family Emily, we do everything as a family."

Jenna was right. They were a family. They were a perfectly, obscure excuse for a messed up family. She was sick of them acting like their life was perfect, like they were all so close to each other.

"Family?" Emily laughed, "You don't even have a fucking clue."

"Stop swearing," Rob reprimanded.

"I'll stop swearing when you start fucking listening to me," Emily screamed.

Her tears were streaming, her eyes swollen and red. She could feel her emotions breaking her in two, ripping away the mask she'd hidden behind, exposing her to her parents.

"Listen to what?" Rob asked, "You swearing at us? Complaining about your life?"

"Listen to me, just fucking listen to what I'm saying," Emily sobbed, stepping closer, staring her mother in the eyes.

They shared a moment, a point where Emily could tell things were changing. Her face was a mess and for the first time in front of her daughter, Jenna's face almost mirrored Emily's. The brown eyes the twins had inherited growing watery and shallow. A reunion of mother and daughter as Jenna's arms wrapped tightly around her, enveloping her in an emotion they both shared.

"I don't want it to be this way," Emily cried into her mother's shoulder, "If I could take her place, I would."

Words were almost obsolete, as Rob joined his girls, tied together in a grief they all felt for the Katie who wasn't sick, a sadness for her current state and a guilt they shared for not letting go sooner.

*

The night wouldn't let her rest. It was cold and dark and she could feel the wintry gusts hitting her bare skin. She wanted to sleep, her body exhausted from it's absence and the lack of food she'd eaten in days. But she couldn't sleep. She knew that if she slept, she would have trouble getting up in the morning. The coming months worried her, the days growing darker quicker, the weather growing harsher. There was an early forecast of snow over the Christmas period. An eventuality that Naomi feared. She didn't know much about snow, or weather, but she knew a night curled up with the white stuff, would be a difference between life and death. She wished she could find a way out of the cold, but she knew Bristol lacked homeless hostels and her friends were a distant thought in her mind. She was alone and confused and the one person she'd hoped would help her, had turned her back. As the daylight seeped into the sky above, Naomi discovered a note on the floor, a piece of luck in an almost completely crappy night. It was a twenty. She pondered the possibilities as she folded it carefully into her bra. She could have a slap up breakfast, a week of coffee, or she could buy a ticket somewhere, anywhere.

*

The morning sun peeking through the curtain pulled Emily from her thoughts. She hadn't slept in the few hours since her parents woke her, spending half of the time in tears. Once she'd finally climbed into bed, she lay watching her sister sleeping before her attention turned to Naomi. It was a mistake sending her away, pushing her out into the cold when she had nowhere to go. Katie's bed was empty now, her sister having woken almost an hour ago. Emily pulled her mobile phone off the bedside table and dialled Naomi's number, letting the phone ring out continuously. She searched through her phonebook for a number she could use to contact Naomi's mum, but the only number she had seemed to be out of order. Eventually she climbed out of bed and joined her family in the kitchen.

"Good morning love," Rob greeted her, sliding a plate of toast across the table towards her.

"No thanks," she sighed, pushing the plate back, "I'm not hungry."

"Is this about that Naomi girl?" Jenna asked, "You need to forget about her and move on."

But she couldn't move on. Naomi had lied to her and though she knew she had a right to be pissed off, she also knew she'd done the wrong thing by turning her back.

"You don't understand," Emily tried, expecting the conversation to end, but her parents just stared at her, awaiting a response.

"When you don't talk to us, things like last night happen," Rob stated, calmly.

"I don't want to talk about it," Emily tried again, her guilt making her feel angry.

"We won't accept that Emily, you had better tell us what is going on."

"She's fucking homeless," she snapped, her anger boiling over. "Naomi has no home, she has been living God knows where and last night when I found out I fucking kicked her out."

Nobody said a thing as though it was easier to just not respond to Emily's outburst. Jenna's lips pressed together until they became almost a line and Emily wished she'd just say something, anything to fill the silence, to fill the space that only made her feel worse about what she did.

"Unless Naomi is here, there's nothing you can do," her mother finally spoke, her words of wisdom proving pointless.

Jenna's inability to accept that Naomi needed their help only spurred Emily forwards, pulling her out of her guilt and into another place.

"I need to find her, I need to fix things," she muttered, standing up and looking around the room for her keys or her jacket, or anything that would help her do what she needed.

"Oh Emily love, don't waste your time, if she really needs you she'll come to you."

"I can't do that," Emily sighed, running out of the room and up the stairs to her bedroom.

She didn't really know what she was going to do to find Naomi. Bristol was a big place. With her jacket in her hands and her keys in her pocket with a crumple of notes, Emily was about to leave when she noticed Naomi's jacket on the floor. At first she'd thought it a new one of Katie's, but it was a colour she hated and quite frankly, it was a style that Katie wouldn't be seen dead in. She fumbled through the pockets not really sure what she was looking for as she found a number of wrinkled pieces of paper. Most of them were bus tickets or ATM receipts, but one of them was a yellow post-it note that had an address on. It was a long shot, but it was all she could do.

*

The building was ugly, something akin to a Lego house but on a larger scale. It was an area she didn't know and after noticing the amount of litter and dodgy looking people hanging around, she knew why. If her parents knew she was there, they'd probably go ballistic and send her to the doctors to get a HIV test. She found the address on the paper that was now almost torn in two because of how tightly she'd held onto it. There was no doorbell, so she knocked and waited. Eventually the door opened and the woman that looked surprisingly like her daughter opened it.

"Emily?" she gasped, almost as shocked to see her as Emily was to see Gina.

"Is Naomi here?"

"No," Gina muttered, "I don't know where she is. I thought she'd be with you."

"I've not seen her since last night."

"Oh."

"She told me that you don't have your house anymore," Emily began, feeling herself shake with guilt and the cold.

"Come on in," Gina offered, "It's freezing out there."

The inside wasn't any better than the outside, but at least it was warm. She accepted a cup of coffee though barely drank it after noticing something black floating on top of the liquid. They talked about the situation and Emily professed her worries for her girlfriend.

"There must be something we can do," Emily mumbled, staring at Gina with teary eyes.

"She made her feelings clear Emily, unless she wants to come home,"

"Home?" Emily scoffed, before turning silent.

Gina continued, a look of pain and guilt in her eyes, "Unless she comes home, I can't look after her."

It wasn't the way she'd hoped things would turn out. But she didn't know Gina well enough to know how to persuade her to act. Naomi barely spoke about her mother, except to complain about something or another. Emily swapped numbers with the woman in case either of them heard anything and left without another word. She didn't go home straight away, instead she wandered through the centre of town in the hope that hovering in public areas would be the most successful way of finding Naomi. But as the night drew in and the evening grew colder, Emily had to go home because there wasn't really much else she could do.

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**AN****: Should Naomi jump on a bus somewhere? Vote now to decide her fate...please review.**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN****: Thanks to everyone for the reviews and for your patience once again. This chapter was going to be longer but it's a reasonable length and this was a good place to end it, so I decided to split it up so that the story is 20 chapters long. Which means, yes, the next chapter is the last.**

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The house was awoken by a loud knocking. Emily roused from her sleep and listened to her parents arguing over the noise. She turned to check on Katie, who was still asleep. The clock on the bedside table read five am. Emily groaned and pulled the covers over her head until she hear a familiar voice followed by her fathers.

"Emily is asleep like the rest of the bloody world, come back later."

"But I need to see Emily," the voice cried out, small sobs reaching Emily's ears. She pulled the covers back and slid into her dressing gown before following the sound of the voices.

"I'd like you to leave now," Emily's mum stated, anger in her voice. But the sobbing just got louder.

"Mum, dad?" Emily muttered entering the lounge, searching the small space for the woman with blonde hair that she'd expected to find.

"We're dealing with this love. Come on, out," Rob stated, wrapping his hand around the female's arm.

"Dad don't, Gina, what's going on?" Emily asked, reaching out to comfort her girlfriend's mum.

The fact that Gina was in her house in the middle of the night worried her. Something had to have happened for her to track Emily down and the longer her parents tried to fight with her, the longer it would take to find out what was going on.

"I got a message on my phone from Naomi," she cried out, clinging tightly to Emily's body. "She's catching a bus."

"Is she related to that girl?" Jenna snapped, looking anything but happy.

Emily ignored her mother, "Catching a bus where?" her body shook with fear.

"I don't know, she just said a bus out of Bristol. I sent one back asking her not to go, I even rang her but she didn't answer."

"Emily, what is going on?" Rob interrupted, this woman can't just come into our house in the middle of the night."

"She's not some woman dad, she's Naomi's mum. They're fucking homeless, remember?" Emily shouted, before turning back to Gina. "When did this happen? When did you get the message?"

"Only half an hour ago. I've not been able to sleep very well since she left. She's got nowhere to go Emily, I'm so worried."

"How about I make you some tea?" Jenna offered, suddenly less bothered by the invasion.

"Th, thank you, you're very kind." Gina smiled through her tears, before following her towards the kitchen.

"Come on kiddo," Rob muttered, placing an arm on Emily's shoulder, which she quickly pulled away from.

"I have to go to the bus station, I have to find her."

"Now love, it's the middle of the night, buses don't run this late. Besides I think we should let her mother deal with this."

"No, I won't fucking leave her out there, I won't do it."

She was angry at her parents for their lack of support, she was scared to lose Naomi and she was frustrated because even though she could walk it was a half mile away. She regretted not accepting the offer of driving lessons for her birthday. She felt sick in the pit of her stomach.

"I told her to leave," she cried out, her body shaking as tears escaped her eyes. "I threw her out when she had nowhere to go. I fucking put her in this situation."

"You didn't make her homeless," Rob reminded her, patting her shoulder uncomfortably.

"No, but I didn't let her stay when she needed me to."

"You can't blame yourself for this."

"I don't care if I do dad, just let me go to the bus station. I need to do this. I can't live with myself if I don't try."

"Okay," he nodded, "I'll drive you."

*

The bus station wasn't warm, but compared to the outside, it was like an oven. Naomi clung to the edges of her t-shirt, wishing she had the jacket she'd left at Emily's. She was cold, she was hungry and she just wanted to cry. Tears had fallen a few times since Emily had thrown her out, but for the past couple of hours her tears had run dry.

"Is everything okay?" a man wearing a National Express jacket asked, Naomi just nodded and moved away from him.

The screen listed many destinations that buses travelled to, each one looked tempting, each one looked frightening. She didn't know what she'd find on the other side and she suspected it wouldn't be much better than Bristol.

"Going anywhere nice?" a woman asked, clutching a ticket with a relaxed hand.

Strangers liked to talk, Naomi didn't. She just shrugged her shoulders and moved away from the woman. For the middle of the night there were a lot of people around. The clock read 5.35 and Naomi realised it wasn't that early anymore. People would be getting up for work, starting their day. She found the next bus and stepped towards the ticket booth. It didn't matter where it went to, it didn't matter how far it was, as long as it was somewhere else. The thought of being in Bristol any longer tore her in two. Emily was still in her heart, even if she had been angry at her. She had lied, she understood why Emily had done it. Her mother on the other hand worried her; she was a mess and without Naomi she suspected she'd end up in a worse mess.

"Exeter please," Naomi whispered, handing the money to the woman at the other side of the desk.

The ticket in her hand and less than a pound change, Naomi walked across the main entrance. There was a vending machine where she bought a small bag of nuts and a bar of chocolate. The snacks felt good in her throat, making her ravenous, more so than she'd been before she ate them. She regretted it instantly. There were several gates leading to different coaches. Naomi walked down the corridor towards the final one, where her coach was due to leave from.

*

The journey seemed to take a lot longer than Emily remembered the last time she'd taken a coach somewhere. She was impatient and quite frankly just worried. It frightened her that Naomi was going away when she had nothing and even though she'd appeared a lot stronger than Gina, she knew that deep down she was just as broken inside.

"It'll be alright love," Rob assured his daughter, tapping her leg for comfort.

Emily just shook her head, "I'm not so convinced."

Rob turned the radio on and they listened to the breakfast show on radio two. The person talking didn't interest her and by the way her dad kept glancing at her, she assumed he wasn't paying much attention either. She turned it off.

"There's a job going at the gym," Rob informed his daughter.

Emily frowned, "What?"

"It's only part time mind, to cover maternity leave at reception. I could offer it to that woman if it'd help."

"Yes, you could ask Gina when we get back," Emily nodded. "Thanks."

"But?" Rob asked, noticing the unconvinced look in Emily's eyes.

"It just doesn't solve all their problems does it, it doesn't give them a roof over their heads, just a bit of extra money."

"You can't solve all their problems love, it's not your job. It's Naomi's mum's. You can support your gir, Naomi, but you can't fix her family," Rob reminded her.

"I know," Emily sighed. "I just wish I could do more."

A vibration in Emily's pocket signalled her to the message that had arrived on her phone. She reached out and looked at it, her heart leaping about in her chest as she took in the information.

"How far away are we?"

"About ten minutes," Rob muttered, glancing at his daughter.

"Naomi's bus leaves at 6.10, we've got less than fifteen minutes," Emily noted, her hands shaking whilst she slid her phone back into her pocket.

"We'll make it," Rob stated, smiling at Emily with assurance.

The coach station was reasonably busy as it was after six. Emily rushed into the building, barely waiting for her dad who followed closely behind. She ran to the screens to search for which bus Naomi was due to catch. Rob finally caught up and helped her look.

"There," Rob muttered, pointing to a screen in the middle. "Exeter, 6.10."

The gate number wasn't familiar to Emily, but she looked for the signs and followed them, rushing through the small crowds as quickly as she could. Clocks were dotted around the building and Emily's heart leapt into her throat when she saw it reach 6.10. The gate was only a few metres away. The bus previously stationary was now moving backwards out of it's parking space and Emily slowed to a halt. It was too late. Emily could feel her knees growing weak as she fell forwards, her body being caught by her dad's arms. He held her, comforting her as she began to sob.

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**AN****: Please review...the story is nearly over, sad much. :'-(**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN****: Thank you to everyone for your patience with this story, I know the later chapters were a bit spaced out, I think that was partly down to the fact that I started writing this fiction whilst in the USA and since coming home I spent some time not thinking about it so I guess it gave me too much time away. Anyway. I appreciate all of your comments and feedback throughout the story. I hope you all enjoy this final chapter.**

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The seat was uncomfortable and hard, the room was still cold and the blast of warm air from the engine of the coach was slowly evaporating into the air as she watched it drive away. She regretted not getting on the coach, regretted using her money to pay for something she hadn't even done. The coach would have been warm and the seat comfortable. Instead she was still in the bus station. But no matter how much she denied it, she didn't really want to leave. Bristol was her home, it was all she knew and the thought of ending up in another town somewhere she didn't even know with nothing and no one was petrifying.

"Fuck," she groaned, leaning back against the metal seat.

She didn't want to cry, she'd thought the tears had dried up, but as she watched the coach disappear through the entrance she felt cold, wet drops hit her cheeks. Her life was a mess. No matter how many times she tried to put a positive spin on it, there was nothing positive about her life.

"She's gone dad, she's gone," a voice was shouting behind her, a familiar voice that made her cry even more. Emily. She turned in her seat and caught sight of the red head, looked back into her brown eyes with blurry vision.

"Emily?" she whispered.

Realisation in Emily's eyes suggested she saw her too, "Naomi?"

There was a huge part of Naomi that wanted to jump out of the seat and run into Emily's arms, but she didn't know why Emily was there, had no idea if she had come for her, or just to say goodbye. She stood whilst Emily moved towards her slowly, tentative steps.

"You didn't leave," she muttered, her voice laced with tears.

"No."

There was an unexpected level of rage building inside of her. No matter how much she'd lied to Emily, she hadn't been the one to throw her out when she had no where to go. It hurt to be rejected when she had nothing and for a moment that was all she could think about. Tear stained eyes grew red and continued to leak tears, her nostrils flared and she wanted to hit something. But then Emily was stood in front of her, her eyes so sympathetic and sorrowful.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done or said what I did," she whispered, her voice almost broken.

An apology was enough. Naomi had always thought that the word sorry meant little and fixed nothing, but hearing it was all she needed to fall into Emily's arms. She pushed her face into Emily's shoulder, sobbing heavily. It took less than a second for Emily's arms to reach around her back, to pull her closer and comfort her immensely. Naomi had spent hours thinking she had nothing, spent hours believing that nobody cared. One second in Emily's arms and she felt at home. She knew that she'd made the right decision and though the future still looked daunting, she felt comforted by the warmth of her girlfriend.

"You're shaking," Emily stated, rubbing her back as though to warm her.

"I'm cold," Naomi chattered.

The cold had become so familiar that she hadn't even noticed how cold she'd become. Being in Emily's arms, her body heat overwhelmingly present, only made Naomi feel colder. It was like holding onto a hot water bottle that didn't lose it's energy.

"We're taking you home," Emily assured her, keeping an arm around her shoulder as they walked out of the station arm in arm.

*

The drive back to the Fitch house was fairly silent. Where Emily had previously sat in the front seat, she opted for the back so that she could hold Naomi. Since they'd found her, she hadn't wanted to let her go, was so busy thinking about keeping their skin touching in one way or another that she couldn't think about anything else, like conversation. Rob was talking and Naomi was mumbling responses, but Emily just wanted to sit with her girlfriend in her arms and help her warm up. The car was boiling in a hope to heat Naomi up some and though Emily felt like she was going to roast, she didn't care if it was going to help Naomi.

"Where have you been?" Jenna shouted to her husband before they'd even walked in the door. Emily followed him inside, Naomi's fingers tucked carefully into hers.

"Naomi!" Gina gasped, catching sight of her daughter.

It was difficult to give up the hold on Naomi to make way for Gina to greet her daughter. Emily took a step backwards, reluctantly, as mother and daughter hugged for a while. She felt lost in her own home, lost without that blonde hair brushing against her neck, or the chipped fingernails digging into her tight grasp.

"You did the right thing," Rob smiled, wrapping an arm around her neck, pride shining in his eyes.

"I just did what I had to."

The room was painfully quiet. Emily watched as mother and daughter clung to each other, muttering things as though what they were saying mattered. But the happiness on their faces suggested nothing did.

"I am so sorry for not believing you Naomi, I was wrong and I'm sorry for drinking, for everything."

Naomi was crying, her face contorted with anguish, "I'm scared mum, I'm so scared."

"I know and it's my fault, I didn't do my job, I didn't protect you," Gina sobbed back, holding her daughter close again. "That's going to change."

"But how? What are we going to do? How are we going to get through this?"

"I'm not sure, but we'll work it out. We'll work it all out, together."

Despite Emily's continuous desire to reach out to Naomi and be the only person she clung onto, she knew she should stay back. She wasn't sure whether to stay in the room, or give the Campbell's time alone. Thankfully her question was answered for her.

"Here's some tea," Jenna announced, bringing in a tray of mugs and placing it on the table, before sitting down.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Gina smiled, accepting a mug and sitting down too.

Rob re-entered the room and Emily realised she hadn't even noticed him leave, "Got you a blanket Naomi."

It was a strange scene in so many ways. Emily, her parents and Naomi and her mum sat around the lounge drinking tea and talking about the job her dad was offering. In all other circumstances, Naomi would have been the brunt of a bad conversation, but for once she was merely a bystander as the parents talked. Emily had sat down beside her own mum, on the opposite side of the room, she watched Naomi holding the blanket around her and wished she was closer.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, repeating her apology across the room, cutting through the discussions.

"It's okay," Naomi assured her, her teeth no longer chattering.

There wasn't much space on the other sofa, beside Naomi, but Emily walked over anyway and forced herself into the small gap. She made up for it by wrapping her arms around Naomi, clinging to her and planting a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips. Pulling back the two girls noticed their parents watching them; Emily couldn't help but smile at her mother's disapproving eyes.

"So where are you going to stay?" Emily asked, ignoring the tension building in the room.

"We're not sure," Gina announced, looking more than embarrassed. "We can't really go back to, well, we just can't."

"You can stay here," Emily offered, not consulting with her parents, who looked anything but impressed.

"Now Emily, I'm not sure if," Jenna began, but Emily had already interrupted her.

"They have no where else to go."

Rob considered the option, "A couple of nights won't hurt."

"Rob!"

"As long as Naomi's not sleeping in your bed," he warned Emily, protectively.

Emily's fingers slid between Naomi's, they shared a slight grin as both their cheeks went red. As much as that was her intention, she knew she'd never get her way. But it didn't matter, she didn't care if she was sleeping in the same bed as Naomi or not. All that mattered was that she was righting the wrong she made days before, that she was giving Naomi the support she needed to rebuild her life.

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**AN****: Please review...and you will get chocolate.**


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